OCD

Many people, to a certain degree, have a little bit of OCD. Whether it be checking something a couple times or a habit you do a few times in a row and wonder just why you do it. To me, OCD can be anything you do that you feel is brought on by a force you cannot fully control. This may sound odd, but bare with me. My main OCD habit is counting compulsively. I can control my brain for the most part but counting is something I have a hard time dealing with. I feel compelled to count and I think I know why. My brain works very fast and I am good at multi-tasking. When my brain is under stimulated it compensates by doing more.

A good example of this is watching my old teammates play baseball at UMass Lowell. Unlike a game on TV there is a lot less going on in terms of announcers and commercials, less background noise. This causes my "counters" to kick in. I count the players on the field in groups of three with the catcher, 3rd base and left fielder, the pitcher, shortstop and center fielder and 1st base, 2nd base and left field comprising the groups, respectively. This would be ok if I didn't do it 30-50 times per game. When I can't stop counting I feel like I have a real problem. I don't feel mentally stable anymore. I feel like someone about to snap. I love watching the games, but the downtime for my brain is what sends it into a counting frenzy. Just like having AS, you wouldn't know I counted just by looking at me. This is only a simple example and there are many more annyoying OCD habits that I do, but you get the jist of it.

Counting for me is a burden. My Mom said she used to count and it ended in her mid twenties. Her history will not have any affect on me because I was adopted. I want it to stop. People always tell me to try and make a game out of it. That does not work, I am sorry to say. Even if it did it would still be a game I don't want to play. I feel that I can relate with people who have addictions with either alcohol or drugs (cigarettes and the like) because my brain is telling me to do a task I do not want. If I try to stop it just starts over again. The only thing that does prevent my from counting is keeping my brain busy. I wish they made an anti-counting patch. At least with cigarettes you have an aid to try and kick the habit. This whole comparison may seem like an overstatement but I feel very strongly about it.

I'd like to know if this is a common thing among people with AS due to the fact that many of us have highly active brains. I ask the people reading this to ask their children or people they know with AS what they feel. Hopefully we can see if a trend is present and try and help one another.