Note: This post may need a lot of explaining to take place. Any claims I make can be substantiated. This is something I have been able to do for a long time. I did not entirely trust it in the beginning, although I wanted to. I do now. If I only happened to be right a couple times then it would have been dismissed as coincidence. I don't really know how my brain does it and I may never figure it out completely. I do have a theory but I am saving it for my book. That still does not make it any less of an oddity. On with the show!
Just like Bender said in "The Breakfast Club" everyone has a special talent, everyone can do something. I can do a whole lot of things with my brain concerning memory, but nothing is as unique as what I am able to do with people and their faces.
It all began when I was watching a movie with my dad. We were watching an older movie and I said to him something like "Hey isn't that insert actor name here?" He told me that I must be mistaken. I told him that I felt pretty strongly that it was who I thought it was. He disagreed with me. Wanting to prove him wrong I went over to the computer and looked on IMDB to see if I was correct. I was. He had to come over and see for himself. He was shocked. He asked me how I knew. I told him I couldn't really explain it to him, but I just knew, deep down in my gut, I just knew. This would happen a few more times. We began to put money on it. He always lost. This built up my confidence a lot.
I mean let’s look at the facts here. The movie in question was made before I was alive. I have very little motivation to look up every actor who is still around and see what they looked like 20-30 years ago. He, on the other hand, had been alive and had possibly seen other movies that the actor in question had been in since the movie in question. How could he not have recognized him? After thinking about this for a while I came to the conclusion that some mechanism deep in my subconscious is able to add and subtract age to faces, even if I have never seen what the person looked like when they were younger. This is done with astounding accuracy.
The only way I can try to relate this is with an example involving kittens (good choice, right?) Say that you just brought home a nice fluffy kitten from the shelter. I’m not saying this works for me on animals, so just bear with me. Owning the kitten you see it almost every day. The little fluffer is there pawing you in the face when it is time to wake up, cuddling with you as get ready for bed and every moment you are home in between. You have a friend who comes over to see your new kitty when it is only a couple weeks old. The friend then returns a couple weeks later and remarks at how big it has gotten. You don't really notice the change because you have been observing it grow each day and each small amount does not register in your mind. You do agree that it has in fact grown. Unless you have way too much time on your hands you do not take pictures every week of your kitty's progress. If you had been then you would definitely notice the changes. It just took someone else to point out what should have been obvious. The kitten you have been raising the last few months is now a cat.
My brain acts as the person who owns the kitten and mentally tracks the growth of the kitten every day, without realizing it. My brain also is the friend who notices that the kitten has grown up and become a cat. It is the friend who knows this by comparing what the kitten looked like before to what it looks like now. The friend was simply not around enough to see the slow progression but it knows the same animal is in front of it. This may seem simple but it is very complex when taken to the level my brain does.
I will not call it a photographic memory because that would mean knowing every single line of a persons face and being able to describe that person accurately for some sketch artists to draw. This memory for me only applies, with superb accuracy, to faces. I can see people that I have not seen for a very long time, the longest was about ten years but I was only six at the time, and instantly recognize who I am looking at as someone I know. I may not always remember names but the face will never lie to me. I also remember the things that we used to talk about and the circumstances of our interaction. I get a lot of blank faces when describing to people events they partook in years past.
This has also turned into a game for me and others around me when we're sitting around bored at parties. I can pick someone out in the room and compare them to someone that I have, usually a celebrity, in my "Database of Faces" and voice my opinion as to who comes up. If we're lucky than there is more than one person and the game can continue. It is best not to disagree with me here; you are going to be wrong. I typically get a reaction of "Oh my gosh! You're right! It does look just like so and so". It’s funny to see their faces at my revelation.
I have been told by people that I should work for the FBI or casino security. The facial recognition software that is now in place keeps me from doing so. If only I was born forty years earlier...
I think that the way it works it that my brain takes a face and, subconsciously, puts it into the memory bank. I think though, that this only really works when I have some type of interaction with the person in question, some sort of quick memorable event or a combination of the two. When the person is again interacted with my brain compares the memory inside to what they looked like before. I will always know if you have gotten a hair cut, even if I have not seen you in two weeks and you got it the day after I saw you last (giving it time to grow back). My brain just tells me there is something different and that thought is put outward by my mouth.
I don't know how to explain it better than that. So is my memory photographic like people tell me or not? Could it be what I usually call it; "Facial Photographic"? Is there even such a thing in existence? Whatever it is I feel that it can't possibly be a common thing because I don't know of a lot of people that can do it. The freakish part is that it is only one system in the confines of my brain that works different than yours. Trust me, there are more. I know I probably left some things out, but that is the great thing about these blogs; you can edit them!
As always, let me know what you think.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
"The Blank Stare"
One thing that I do have very much in common with someone who is fully autistic is the blank stare. This face is void of any emotion, the perfect poker face. I was watching "Rain man" again recently and I realized that this is the trait I most openly express. It is not always an intense stare but rather a blank one. Viewing it you would feel that there couldn't possibly be anything going on behind it. You almost want to wave your hand in front of the persons face to see if they're alive. Contrary to what you may believe there is a lot going on inside the persons head.
The stare itself, at least for me, is sort of my natural face and it does have a tendency to intensify when I want to be left alone. I feel like I am not really looking at anything, just staring at nothing as I think. Think of it as an open eyed meditation. I almost become cross eyed as I concentrate so hard on what I am thinking about. Even if I seem zoned out I am completely cognisant of everything going on around me. It acts as sort of a mental break for me when I am around people. I usually do it in a crowded situation. Before my yoga class starts I often look at myself blankly in the large mirror as I sit on my mat. As conversation goes on around me I take each one in and transfer my attention to many around the room in rapid succession. It may be eavesdropping but most people are saying things they don't mind you hearing anyways.
More recently I came upon some sort of reason why I might, as well as others, exhibit this face. There should be no surprise I do this in public. Much of the time I want to be left alone. This face is uninviting. It makes sure I am left alone. If people don't understand then that is too bad. People like me don't often feel comfortable in most public settings. I admit that I am more flexible than most. This goes back to the brain activity I touched on in a previous post. Being around people for prolonged periods of time tires my brain. Besides mentally resting for a few minutes, I have found no other way to counteract the temporary effects that human interaction has. The face and stare are one of my natural defenses. If you can read body language at all then you would be apt to stay away from someone who has an almost 'I'm a psycho-killer' look. If you are feeling this then my ploy has worked.
People I know that are reading this please take note as I am telling you now. I know that you and I are friends. I'll come over and talk to you when I'm ready. You would be better off if you did not try to interact with me when I am in zombie mode. I will acknowledge you initially when I enter the room but please remember this: If I don't come over right away, neither should you.
As always questions and comments are welcome on this subject or any other.
The stare itself, at least for me, is sort of my natural face and it does have a tendency to intensify when I want to be left alone. I feel like I am not really looking at anything, just staring at nothing as I think. Think of it as an open eyed meditation. I almost become cross eyed as I concentrate so hard on what I am thinking about. Even if I seem zoned out I am completely cognisant of everything going on around me. It acts as sort of a mental break for me when I am around people. I usually do it in a crowded situation. Before my yoga class starts I often look at myself blankly in the large mirror as I sit on my mat. As conversation goes on around me I take each one in and transfer my attention to many around the room in rapid succession. It may be eavesdropping but most people are saying things they don't mind you hearing anyways.
More recently I came upon some sort of reason why I might, as well as others, exhibit this face. There should be no surprise I do this in public. Much of the time I want to be left alone. This face is uninviting. It makes sure I am left alone. If people don't understand then that is too bad. People like me don't often feel comfortable in most public settings. I admit that I am more flexible than most. This goes back to the brain activity I touched on in a previous post. Being around people for prolonged periods of time tires my brain. Besides mentally resting for a few minutes, I have found no other way to counteract the temporary effects that human interaction has. The face and stare are one of my natural defenses. If you can read body language at all then you would be apt to stay away from someone who has an almost 'I'm a psycho-killer' look. If you are feeling this then my ploy has worked.
People I know that are reading this please take note as I am telling you now. I know that you and I are friends. I'll come over and talk to you when I'm ready. You would be better off if you did not try to interact with me when I am in zombie mode. I will acknowledge you initially when I enter the room but please remember this: If I don't come over right away, neither should you.
As always questions and comments are welcome on this subject or any other.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
An Aspy Athlete?
It's an oddity when Asperger's and sports are mentioned in the same sentence. There is a certain thing, I forget what it’s called, bit it makes people like me uncoordinated. I think my body missed that memo, to a certain point at least. There are a couple of sports that I still cannot play. Basketball and football are two of them. I am very awkward at both of them. I think I still throw a football like a baseball. I was always short so I did not even consider basketball. If you have seen me run near then end, as I get tired, I look like Carleton Banks, from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, when he dances. It is sheer awkwardness. Athletic movements can be learned by people with AS, it just takes longer.
The first thing I did pick up was golf. My all around game was really good and peaked at around 8 years old. I shot a either a 42 or 46 for nine holes on a local golf course. I can remember one time when I was on the golf course with my Dad and his friends and the Big Bertha just came out. Some guy came up in a golf cart and said to my Dad "Hey, he can't be here, get him off the course" My Dad replied "He's one of the best young golfers in the state". After that was said, Dad handed me the driver and I hit it 125 yards down the middle of the fairway. The guy shook his head as he drove away.
I did not always have a natural golf swing. I had to practice a lot as a kid. I was obsessed with it actually. I'd hit a little plastic ball around the entire neighborhood for hours. It was a closed off street so no one bothered me. I truly believe that the extreme ability to focus/practice is one thing that made me good at the sports I chose to play. This ability is a main trait of Asperger's, to focus on a few main things, intensely. Even after my shoulder surgery I can still crush a golf ball. This summer I was at the driving range with my Dad and brother and the first swing of the driver went way over the net and into the woods, the fence being 250 yards away. I can probably hit it 275 but I want 300. Some things are like riding a bike.
My other love is baseball. I was always, still am, the smallest out there. I can't hit much but pitching is a different story. People think I was a side-armer but I have a picture that shows me coming over the top taken when I was 12. There view on my delivery may have been because I was so low to the ground. The camera does not lie. Even in high school other teams/coaches thought I was the bat boy or mascot. I lived to prove them wrong. The good thing about the mound is that it adds to my 5'5'' height. It also does this for everyone else. Up until my injury I was a consistent 85-88mph with a hammer of a curveball and a very good change-up.
One important factor in the development of my velocity of the years is that I got a pitching coach at age fourteen. He taught me how to throw overhand and add fluidity to my motion, preventing injury for a long time. To compete with much larger athletes I had to give myself an edge. Thank you, Joe Louis for all of your help. It did not come over night, though, and just like golf it took many hours and lessons. I was worth it and is why I was able to go to Umass Lowell.
Seeing me in action is a very odd sight. People were always astounded at the way I threw. Even my college pitching coach was in awe. If my shoulder healed correctly, I've waited long enough and did all my rehab, there is no reason I should not be able to hit 90mph. It was always my goal for a long time and with a much stronger body I think I could do it.
There may be a chance at hitting 90. My freshman year of college the trainer was examining my arm and he noticed that my elbow looked a little odd. He asked me if I ever had any pain in that area and I told me him "No". He seemed curious to play with the tendon and proclaimed that it was about 3 times larger than normal. It is this exact tendon that is wrapped around the elbow and provides the "whip" for pitchers. Tommy John surgery replaces this worn tendon when it tears. Since my elbow is fine and my shoulder and entire body feel better than ever I may have a shot at throwing harder than before. It would seem logical right?
The mound itself is a very lonely place. I'm used to that. I can do whatever I want out there. I can actually enjoy making people look bad and not have remorse. My goal out there was always to mentally rape (for lack of a better term) hitters. It played hard out there and I did not like to give up runs. I considered them scoring on me an insult. I had no fear and brushing people back or hitting someone, if it was called for. I was never an imposing figure on the mound and had to protect MY plate by any means necessary.
One of the best things that have to be said about sport is that you meet people. For someone initially very shy as myself it helped me to meet others. College would have been very lonely if I had not been an athlete. If someone with AS is able to they should partake in athletics. It would be very foolish not to do so. Social networking is hugely augmented when you know people that can help you out. Many of the opportunities and experiences I have had are from people I met competing. I would not give those moments in life up for anything, anything.
Any comments/thoughts on this matter would be appreciated.
The first thing I did pick up was golf. My all around game was really good and peaked at around 8 years old. I shot a either a 42 or 46 for nine holes on a local golf course. I can remember one time when I was on the golf course with my Dad and his friends and the Big Bertha just came out. Some guy came up in a golf cart and said to my Dad "Hey, he can't be here, get him off the course" My Dad replied "He's one of the best young golfers in the state". After that was said, Dad handed me the driver and I hit it 125 yards down the middle of the fairway. The guy shook his head as he drove away.
I did not always have a natural golf swing. I had to practice a lot as a kid. I was obsessed with it actually. I'd hit a little plastic ball around the entire neighborhood for hours. It was a closed off street so no one bothered me. I truly believe that the extreme ability to focus/practice is one thing that made me good at the sports I chose to play. This ability is a main trait of Asperger's, to focus on a few main things, intensely. Even after my shoulder surgery I can still crush a golf ball. This summer I was at the driving range with my Dad and brother and the first swing of the driver went way over the net and into the woods, the fence being 250 yards away. I can probably hit it 275 but I want 300. Some things are like riding a bike.
My other love is baseball. I was always, still am, the smallest out there. I can't hit much but pitching is a different story. People think I was a side-armer but I have a picture that shows me coming over the top taken when I was 12. There view on my delivery may have been because I was so low to the ground. The camera does not lie. Even in high school other teams/coaches thought I was the bat boy or mascot. I lived to prove them wrong. The good thing about the mound is that it adds to my 5'5'' height. It also does this for everyone else. Up until my injury I was a consistent 85-88mph with a hammer of a curveball and a very good change-up.
One important factor in the development of my velocity of the years is that I got a pitching coach at age fourteen. He taught me how to throw overhand and add fluidity to my motion, preventing injury for a long time. To compete with much larger athletes I had to give myself an edge. Thank you, Joe Louis for all of your help. It did not come over night, though, and just like golf it took many hours and lessons. I was worth it and is why I was able to go to Umass Lowell.
Seeing me in action is a very odd sight. People were always astounded at the way I threw. Even my college pitching coach was in awe. If my shoulder healed correctly, I've waited long enough and did all my rehab, there is no reason I should not be able to hit 90mph. It was always my goal for a long time and with a much stronger body I think I could do it.
There may be a chance at hitting 90. My freshman year of college the trainer was examining my arm and he noticed that my elbow looked a little odd. He asked me if I ever had any pain in that area and I told me him "No". He seemed curious to play with the tendon and proclaimed that it was about 3 times larger than normal. It is this exact tendon that is wrapped around the elbow and provides the "whip" for pitchers. Tommy John surgery replaces this worn tendon when it tears. Since my elbow is fine and my shoulder and entire body feel better than ever I may have a shot at throwing harder than before. It would seem logical right?
The mound itself is a very lonely place. I'm used to that. I can do whatever I want out there. I can actually enjoy making people look bad and not have remorse. My goal out there was always to mentally rape (for lack of a better term) hitters. It played hard out there and I did not like to give up runs. I considered them scoring on me an insult. I had no fear and brushing people back or hitting someone, if it was called for. I was never an imposing figure on the mound and had to protect MY plate by any means necessary.
One of the best things that have to be said about sport is that you meet people. For someone initially very shy as myself it helped me to meet others. College would have been very lonely if I had not been an athlete. If someone with AS is able to they should partake in athletics. It would be very foolish not to do so. Social networking is hugely augmented when you know people that can help you out. Many of the opportunities and experiences I have had are from people I met competing. I would not give those moments in life up for anything, anything.
Any comments/thoughts on this matter would be appreciated.
Alcohol and the Brain
Like most kids in college I engaged in the pastime of drinking alcohol. I did not drink until I got to college. This was because I never went out in high school (once at Worcester Academy). The only prior time I had a sip of anything was on New Year's Eve. I found out in college you are expected to drink. Being on the baseball team I was expected to join in. My whole thing with drinking was not that I did not want to mess up my future before I got there. To be honest I saw what my brother was up to and did not want any part of it. I waited until my brain was mature enough to handle it, I guess. It also didn't slip my mind that girls attend parties. That was a bonus.
It is normal that people lose many inhibitions when drunk. Parts of the brain stop thinking and they forget what they are doing. I don't know much about this other than what people have told me. For me, being under the influence of alcohol has similar, yet different effects. My motor skills go down the tubes like everyone else but my mind, mainly the memory part, stays intact. I sort of realized this from my own experiences adn upon reading a ladies story that she could drink massive amounts of alcohol and not "blackout" helped put it all together. It was then I realized that my mind wants to hold the ability to be as in control as possible that it will not shut certain parts down even under heavy assault. This may seem like a joke. I assure you it is not.
In any day to day activity I like to be in control and when things take a dramatic turn south my mind starts to race a little and anxiety sets in. If I were experience a "blacking out" of consciousness of drinking I do not know what would happen. Not to brag but I think my personal 'record' is 15-17 drinks in a night. This would seem more normal if I wasn't 5'5'' 170lbs. Other than the memory ability I guess I have a really high tolerance. Even after that much I still remembered the conversations I had with people and where I was that night. I routinely tell others who have had too much what they were up to. Some things I have seen I have had to look the other way on.
You would think that by the way I am talking that I drink all the time. I don't. I don't even have a beer with dinner out with my parents. My goal was not to be an alcoholic. I don't have any aches or pains when I don't drink for a while. I went nearly all of this last summer without drinking. I did drink my last semester of school but since New Year's I've drank once. Even my hangovers are not normal. I usually wake up at 8-9am and feel reasonable. I'm not saying I'm going to go run a marathon. Everyone else is still asleep for a few more hours. The thing about my hangovers that may be typical (not sure because I have not researched it yet) is that I feel like doing nothing the whole day. Sort of a lingering depression if you will. That is really the only price I have to pay.
It might be that I have better self control than others. I don't ask people's drink count for the night. It could be more than my own, but I don't think I'll ask. I was thinking of setting up an experiment for myself, in a controlled environment of course. It would involved me, a bottle of whatever I chose to drink, a camera and some witnesses. I may also need a breathalyzer if I could get my hands on one. The goal of this test is to see how much I can handle before I either, blackout, vomit, or need medical help. I would also like to engage in several conversations throughout the evening to see how much I could recall the next day. This would be something that could get interesting.
Since I don't have a death wish this should not be happening anytime soon. That does not change the fact of how well I am able to control myself with alcohol and why. This has always been on my mind. So is this a way of life for anyone else out there who does not have AS? I really can't count on a lot of people who do because many have not been out with large crowds in a college party setting. Being around many people does tire my brain, as I mentioned in my previous post, but seeing them act like fools and having the ability to remember it makes it all worthwhile. I leave the camera work to other people while I roll my own version of priceless film.
It is normal that people lose many inhibitions when drunk. Parts of the brain stop thinking and they forget what they are doing. I don't know much about this other than what people have told me. For me, being under the influence of alcohol has similar, yet different effects. My motor skills go down the tubes like everyone else but my mind, mainly the memory part, stays intact. I sort of realized this from my own experiences adn upon reading a ladies story that she could drink massive amounts of alcohol and not "blackout" helped put it all together. It was then I realized that my mind wants to hold the ability to be as in control as possible that it will not shut certain parts down even under heavy assault. This may seem like a joke. I assure you it is not.
In any day to day activity I like to be in control and when things take a dramatic turn south my mind starts to race a little and anxiety sets in. If I were experience a "blacking out" of consciousness of drinking I do not know what would happen. Not to brag but I think my personal 'record' is 15-17 drinks in a night. This would seem more normal if I wasn't 5'5'' 170lbs. Other than the memory ability I guess I have a really high tolerance. Even after that much I still remembered the conversations I had with people and where I was that night. I routinely tell others who have had too much what they were up to. Some things I have seen I have had to look the other way on.
You would think that by the way I am talking that I drink all the time. I don't. I don't even have a beer with dinner out with my parents. My goal was not to be an alcoholic. I don't have any aches or pains when I don't drink for a while. I went nearly all of this last summer without drinking. I did drink my last semester of school but since New Year's I've drank once. Even my hangovers are not normal. I usually wake up at 8-9am and feel reasonable. I'm not saying I'm going to go run a marathon. Everyone else is still asleep for a few more hours. The thing about my hangovers that may be typical (not sure because I have not researched it yet) is that I feel like doing nothing the whole day. Sort of a lingering depression if you will. That is really the only price I have to pay.
It might be that I have better self control than others. I don't ask people's drink count for the night. It could be more than my own, but I don't think I'll ask. I was thinking of setting up an experiment for myself, in a controlled environment of course. It would involved me, a bottle of whatever I chose to drink, a camera and some witnesses. I may also need a breathalyzer if I could get my hands on one. The goal of this test is to see how much I can handle before I either, blackout, vomit, or need medical help. I would also like to engage in several conversations throughout the evening to see how much I could recall the next day. This would be something that could get interesting.
Since I don't have a death wish this should not be happening anytime soon. That does not change the fact of how well I am able to control myself with alcohol and why. This has always been on my mind. So is this a way of life for anyone else out there who does not have AS? I really can't count on a lot of people who do because many have not been out with large crowds in a college party setting. Being around many people does tire my brain, as I mentioned in my previous post, but seeing them act like fools and having the ability to remember it makes it all worthwhile. I leave the camera work to other people while I roll my own version of priceless film.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tiring of the Brain by Social Interaction
Throughout the course of my day there are certain situations that can interfere with my own ability to comprehend certain things. One thing that does a lot in terms of making my brain tired is heavy interaction with people.
Looking back I noticed that in middle and high school I took a nap after each day. I think it became more of a pattern than anything else. Even when I was in college until a couple months ago, I would still take these naps. I found myself wondering why. The thing I figured out is that interaction with others is taxing for my brain. There are many things that must be interpreted when dealing with people. You have to take into account their body language, spoken language and pick up all of the nuances that go along with their communication towards you. For neurotypicals this is easy enough most of the time.
For Aspies this amount of input gets too much and the brain, at least mine, feels that it needs a break. The body itself is fine but mental exhaustion can hinder the way people act towards others after a prolonged period of time. I myself become a zombie and am unable to partake in critical thinking or meaningful conversation. I have since realized that I do not need a nap per say, just a break from human interaction, a time out if you will, where I am alone for about 15 minutes or so. This time alone works wonders for me. This may be why people like me prefer to be alone much of the time, but have not figured out why for themselves.
The way I like to explain this phenomenon to people is to relate it to being in a group and studying for a test. Everyone in the study group is sitting around and throwing their best ideas on how to remember the material. As the night drags on people start to get the hang of it as their brains fill with a vast amount of information. There does come a point in time, and this almost always happens, that people give up and feel that they can no longer cram anything else in their heads. The group begins to show its signs of fatigue, minds wander and people lose interest and decide to call it a night. They know they should study more but they just can't. The only thing left to do is sleep and hope that they can remember everything for the next day. The same type of feeling is also after a long hard test, say the one being studied for next day. After finishing the test your brain is fried. This is the way I feel when I have to interact with a lot of people for extended periods.
You may notice that someone you know with AS also exhibit these same characteristics. They may also not know how to deal with or even recognize what they are feeling and how to cope with it. Through trial and error they will find a way they can manage. What works for one person may not for another but you won't know until you try. This took me quite a time to figure out as to why I had to nap/take a break. Luckily I did so in college. When I went out until 2-3 am at a party, people would wonder where I went for 15 minutes. This is my explanation as to why.
As always, if you would like to know more on this subject or any other, feel free to ask away.
Looking back I noticed that in middle and high school I took a nap after each day. I think it became more of a pattern than anything else. Even when I was in college until a couple months ago, I would still take these naps. I found myself wondering why. The thing I figured out is that interaction with others is taxing for my brain. There are many things that must be interpreted when dealing with people. You have to take into account their body language, spoken language and pick up all of the nuances that go along with their communication towards you. For neurotypicals this is easy enough most of the time.
For Aspies this amount of input gets too much and the brain, at least mine, feels that it needs a break. The body itself is fine but mental exhaustion can hinder the way people act towards others after a prolonged period of time. I myself become a zombie and am unable to partake in critical thinking or meaningful conversation. I have since realized that I do not need a nap per say, just a break from human interaction, a time out if you will, where I am alone for about 15 minutes or so. This time alone works wonders for me. This may be why people like me prefer to be alone much of the time, but have not figured out why for themselves.
The way I like to explain this phenomenon to people is to relate it to being in a group and studying for a test. Everyone in the study group is sitting around and throwing their best ideas on how to remember the material. As the night drags on people start to get the hang of it as their brains fill with a vast amount of information. There does come a point in time, and this almost always happens, that people give up and feel that they can no longer cram anything else in their heads. The group begins to show its signs of fatigue, minds wander and people lose interest and decide to call it a night. They know they should study more but they just can't. The only thing left to do is sleep and hope that they can remember everything for the next day. The same type of feeling is also after a long hard test, say the one being studied for next day. After finishing the test your brain is fried. This is the way I feel when I have to interact with a lot of people for extended periods.
You may notice that someone you know with AS also exhibit these same characteristics. They may also not know how to deal with or even recognize what they are feeling and how to cope with it. Through trial and error they will find a way they can manage. What works for one person may not for another but you won't know until you try. This took me quite a time to figure out as to why I had to nap/take a break. Luckily I did so in college. When I went out until 2-3 am at a party, people would wonder where I went for 15 minutes. This is my explanation as to why.
As always, if you would like to know more on this subject or any other, feel free to ask away.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Introduction
Welcome to the "Ask an Aspy" blog! This blog is about my life with Asperger's Syndrome up to this point. I am 24 years old and have just graduated college. The reason it took me so long is because I did a post graduate year at a prep school after high school and then graduated a semester late. My September birthday didn't help. My back story is different than most peoples. I was adopted from Colombia by white parents who also adopted two others kids before me. Growing up I never noticed my race until they told me about my past. It came as a shock but I consider myself very lucky. I am definite proof that environment can make people who they are. I was like any other typical kid growing up, just with some slight variations. I did not do some of the things that kids my age were doing, even what some adults did. I always thought of myself as different but could not put a finger on why. A diagnosis at 16 set the facts straight. I did not, however, look far into what having AS meant until 23. This was a mixed blessing in terms of my experiences. When I told my friends about AS they were dumbfounded that I had it all along. They tell me that I had hit it well. I told them that they were not looking hard enough. I get this a lot from people I know. But enough about me.
Let me put one thing out in the open: I am not your typical person with this condition. I am sort of like the missing link between people with AS and neurotypicals (everyone else). In the AS groups that I have been apart of I was the leader. I acted like the mediator between the rest of the group and the teachers/researchers that were observing us at the time. Most of the other people like me I've dealt with have had trouble putting their thoughts into words. I try to help clarify what they mean. You will never figure out how the brain of someone like me works until you explore it in depth. There is a distinction between knowing the path and walking it. I walk it every day.
This blog is dedicated to what people would like to know in regards to AS. Even though a lot of research has been done recently there is still a lot of unexplored territory. Since I am open about my life an experiences (halfway done writing an autobiography, just need a publisher) I have decided to answer any questions that people may have about what people like me are thinking. I have learned so much about myself in the last few months and can answer many questions I used to have. It did not come easy and required many hours of self reflection. Many people like me are not able to open up an express what they are feeling and I feel it’s my job to fill that void. Orally I am not understandable while I shine when it comes to writing and conveying my thoughts that way.
I will do my best to stay away from any clinical explanations and only focus on actual advice that people can learn from and use. I hate it when people categorize me and tell me what I am feeling or what I am capable of. I will try my best not to do that to anyone else. Instead, I will relate your questions as they pertain to my own experiences. From my accounts you should be able to gather sufficient information to determine what the loved one in question is thinking /feeling when in a similar situation.
In this blog you can ask me anything and I will try and give the best response that I can. What I come up with may be humorous to you, both because I'm funny and the way that I think. Mine is truly a different perspective. I will also be posting snippets of my life (and maybe my book) so that readers can better understand who they are dealing with and what the people they love are going through, should our experiences be similar.
My goal with this blog is to bolster knowledge that is associated with Asperger's and allow families who have children with AS to talk about any concerns they have, both with me and one another. By interacting we can grow together. I am a real person and I intend to give real answers that are going to help. So if you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask them. My memory seems to go on forever so you can enjoy asking things that cover a broad range of ages/topics.
Let me put one thing out in the open: I am not your typical person with this condition. I am sort of like the missing link between people with AS and neurotypicals (everyone else). In the AS groups that I have been apart of I was the leader. I acted like the mediator between the rest of the group and the teachers/researchers that were observing us at the time. Most of the other people like me I've dealt with have had trouble putting their thoughts into words. I try to help clarify what they mean. You will never figure out how the brain of someone like me works until you explore it in depth. There is a distinction between knowing the path and walking it. I walk it every day.
This blog is dedicated to what people would like to know in regards to AS. Even though a lot of research has been done recently there is still a lot of unexplored territory. Since I am open about my life an experiences (halfway done writing an autobiography, just need a publisher) I have decided to answer any questions that people may have about what people like me are thinking. I have learned so much about myself in the last few months and can answer many questions I used to have. It did not come easy and required many hours of self reflection. Many people like me are not able to open up an express what they are feeling and I feel it’s my job to fill that void. Orally I am not understandable while I shine when it comes to writing and conveying my thoughts that way.
I will do my best to stay away from any clinical explanations and only focus on actual advice that people can learn from and use. I hate it when people categorize me and tell me what I am feeling or what I am capable of. I will try my best not to do that to anyone else. Instead, I will relate your questions as they pertain to my own experiences. From my accounts you should be able to gather sufficient information to determine what the loved one in question is thinking /feeling when in a similar situation.
In this blog you can ask me anything and I will try and give the best response that I can. What I come up with may be humorous to you, both because I'm funny and the way that I think. Mine is truly a different perspective. I will also be posting snippets of my life (and maybe my book) so that readers can better understand who they are dealing with and what the people they love are going through, should our experiences be similar.
My goal with this blog is to bolster knowledge that is associated with Asperger's and allow families who have children with AS to talk about any concerns they have, both with me and one another. By interacting we can grow together. I am a real person and I intend to give real answers that are going to help. So if you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask them. My memory seems to go on forever so you can enjoy asking things that cover a broad range of ages/topics.
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