I'm doing this post based on a need to fill a void. I'm not sure if anyone has quite put what I'm about to say this way before, but if they have, I will amend this post and give them credit where it is due. This is not going to be some dry, clinical study post, as a lot of the articles written about us are. This is going to be straight from the horse's mouth, something everyone loves. I was going to do this post later today, but being up at 4 am an unable to fall back asleep seems like a prime opportunity to me.
If there is one thing I am really good at, it is relating difficult to grasp concepts to something that most people can understand. Difficult may be the wrong word, but then again you need to be on the autism spectrum to understand why what I am about to explain is a perfect example. How to relate this just sort of came to me when I had my glasses off recently.
A main issue that many people on the spectrum have is reading the expression on someones face. The same goes for body language. A lot the non-verbal cues that neurotypicals (NT's for short) easily pick up are missed by those on the spectrum. Telling people this is one thing, having them believe it is another. A relatively small amount of people I know are aware I'm even on the spectrum (getting them to believe it is also a challenge) and most people I wish to keep this fact a secret from. To my friends not in the know I am just like anyone else. So when I can't read a situation, read between the lines or easily decipher the combination of what they just said to me and the look on their face when they did so, they lose patience with me or even worse; they think I'm stupid. Well let's try an experiment and see how well you all do.
Anyone can do this, given the right equipment. I'm not saying it's easy to do or even an exact science, but there is no way to change your brain to see the world as my friends and I do. If you wear eye glasses for distance then please take them off or get a lesser power for this. If you don't, please put some on, but they need to be just the right amount. This may be tricky based on your prescription, I understand, but at least the concept is there. My own glasses are at a -3.75 so if I'm not wearing them I can see everything, but the key details are not clear and I should not drive without them. You should use that last sentence a gauge what prescription you should use for this experiment. Go to either a crowded area or pull up one of those programs, via the internet, that doctors use to test people's ability to read faces. I recommend the crowd or a place with a bunch of people. A closed off space such as a mall or park would be good, we don't want anyone getting hit by a car.
Now, once you are safely there ( we don't want any accidents getting to that point) put the glasses on and walk around. While you will still be able to see everyone clear enough while either sitting or walking around, their crisp details will be gone. You've now lost the ability to pick up on subtlety in the face. Spoken words are still clear to you, but any little hints in expression are gone.
Get up, if you were sitting, and walk around. Maybe the girl looking at you as she walked by was interested, maybe she was not, as she looked at you but didn't give a clear smile, only a slight upturn of her lip that you missed (for the record even I can surmise what a clear smile directed my way means). You see a man with a dog and you ask if you can pet it. He gives you an unclear verbal response that could mean yes or no, but you can't make out his face when he said it, so you're not sure whether you should or not. Maybe the dog is fine or maybe it bites when frightened in a public setting unfamiliar to it, who really knows for sure? You decide that you like the current look of your hand, so refrain from putting it forward. Going a bit further you see someone seated on a bench and you ask them what time it is. You didn't see that they were either deep in thought or busy doing something they thought was important and they either say "Can't you see I'm busy" or ignore you all together, with the latter being the most frustrating because you ask again and then receive the rude response they could have given the first time you asked. You then see a one of your friends but they don't want to be bothered either because they are going through a tough time. Your surprise when you talk to them anyway and they remain distant with you and you can't figure out why is apparent. Sometimes even friends want to be left alone, but you didn't see the signal they sent with their eyes or the lacking smile on their lips as you approached them. The conversation ends quickly as your friend excuses themselves and you wonder what you did wrong. You think "He'd have said hello to me if the roles were reversed or the next time we met he would have asked why I ignored him. So what did I do wrong?" Meanwhile your friend thinks to him self "Jeez, can't the guy take a hint?" as he walks away. Now would be a good time to take the glasses off.
So hopefully you get the idea now. The reason I made the man with the dog's response unclear is that picking up subtleties in language is just as hard, if not harder to do than reading the face that is saying it. Couple the two together and you can easily see why people on the spectrum have such problems fitting in socially. As for myself I rely a lot on tone of voice a lot. This has helped me begin to decipher what the face hides. You can think of it as a math problem (even though I hate math). Facial expression + tone of voice = What is meant by the speaker. In the autistic brain, think of the first two parts of the problem as Egyptian hieroglyphs that you may never fully understand.
I've come a long way, but still have much more to grasp. I'm 29 and could have used the ability to read the combination of faces and what the words really meant much sooner in life, most notably during my school days. I'm getting better, but I still get my signals crossed or missed all together, all the time. I guess my next post will have to be on context and how language is used in different situations and why it is a stumbling block for us.
If you have any questions let me know. I will try to add more to this post or clarify parts if need be.
If there is one thing I am really good at, it is relating difficult to grasp concepts to something that most people can understand. Difficult may be the wrong word, but then again you need to be on the autism spectrum to understand why what I am about to explain is a perfect example. How to relate this just sort of came to me when I had my glasses off recently.
A main issue that many people on the spectrum have is reading the expression on someones face. The same goes for body language. A lot the non-verbal cues that neurotypicals (NT's for short) easily pick up are missed by those on the spectrum. Telling people this is one thing, having them believe it is another. A relatively small amount of people I know are aware I'm even on the spectrum (getting them to believe it is also a challenge) and most people I wish to keep this fact a secret from. To my friends not in the know I am just like anyone else. So when I can't read a situation, read between the lines or easily decipher the combination of what they just said to me and the look on their face when they did so, they lose patience with me or even worse; they think I'm stupid. Well let's try an experiment and see how well you all do.
Anyone can do this, given the right equipment. I'm not saying it's easy to do or even an exact science, but there is no way to change your brain to see the world as my friends and I do. If you wear eye glasses for distance then please take them off or get a lesser power for this. If you don't, please put some on, but they need to be just the right amount. This may be tricky based on your prescription, I understand, but at least the concept is there. My own glasses are at a -3.75 so if I'm not wearing them I can see everything, but the key details are not clear and I should not drive without them. You should use that last sentence a gauge what prescription you should use for this experiment. Go to either a crowded area or pull up one of those programs, via the internet, that doctors use to test people's ability to read faces. I recommend the crowd or a place with a bunch of people. A closed off space such as a mall or park would be good, we don't want anyone getting hit by a car.
Now, once you are safely there ( we don't want any accidents getting to that point) put the glasses on and walk around. While you will still be able to see everyone clear enough while either sitting or walking around, their crisp details will be gone. You've now lost the ability to pick up on subtlety in the face. Spoken words are still clear to you, but any little hints in expression are gone.
Get up, if you were sitting, and walk around. Maybe the girl looking at you as she walked by was interested, maybe she was not, as she looked at you but didn't give a clear smile, only a slight upturn of her lip that you missed (for the record even I can surmise what a clear smile directed my way means). You see a man with a dog and you ask if you can pet it. He gives you an unclear verbal response that could mean yes or no, but you can't make out his face when he said it, so you're not sure whether you should or not. Maybe the dog is fine or maybe it bites when frightened in a public setting unfamiliar to it, who really knows for sure? You decide that you like the current look of your hand, so refrain from putting it forward. Going a bit further you see someone seated on a bench and you ask them what time it is. You didn't see that they were either deep in thought or busy doing something they thought was important and they either say "Can't you see I'm busy" or ignore you all together, with the latter being the most frustrating because you ask again and then receive the rude response they could have given the first time you asked. You then see a one of your friends but they don't want to be bothered either because they are going through a tough time. Your surprise when you talk to them anyway and they remain distant with you and you can't figure out why is apparent. Sometimes even friends want to be left alone, but you didn't see the signal they sent with their eyes or the lacking smile on their lips as you approached them. The conversation ends quickly as your friend excuses themselves and you wonder what you did wrong. You think "He'd have said hello to me if the roles were reversed or the next time we met he would have asked why I ignored him. So what did I do wrong?" Meanwhile your friend thinks to him self "Jeez, can't the guy take a hint?" as he walks away. Now would be a good time to take the glasses off.
So hopefully you get the idea now. The reason I made the man with the dog's response unclear is that picking up subtleties in language is just as hard, if not harder to do than reading the face that is saying it. Couple the two together and you can easily see why people on the spectrum have such problems fitting in socially. As for myself I rely a lot on tone of voice a lot. This has helped me begin to decipher what the face hides. You can think of it as a math problem (even though I hate math). Facial expression + tone of voice = What is meant by the speaker. In the autistic brain, think of the first two parts of the problem as Egyptian hieroglyphs that you may never fully understand.
I've come a long way, but still have much more to grasp. I'm 29 and could have used the ability to read the combination of faces and what the words really meant much sooner in life, most notably during my school days. I'm getting better, but I still get my signals crossed or missed all together, all the time. I guess my next post will have to be on context and how language is used in different situations and why it is a stumbling block for us.
If you have any questions let me know. I will try to add more to this post or clarify parts if need be.
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