Thursday, October 2, 2014

Over Exaggeration and Yes or No Questions

As long as I can remember my dad has been one for embellishment. I think that is a signature of good story telling but it dilutes truth to a degree I don't like, especially when it is about me. Not that a father should be proud of his son, but stretching truth is something I don't like someone doing for me when I'm in the room. I can recall me either making or doing something for a party one time and then dad telling people about it afterwards as it being "the hit of the party!" This may seem trivial but I didn't like him saying that at all. It was like I assumed he fact checkers would come out of the woodwork en masse and do a thorough examination of what really transpired. Needless to say that has never happened but I still don't feel any less weird about the truth being built upon. The only real time that fact checking could have occurred was when I played college baseball. The hardest I ever threw that was verified was 88 MPH, which is fast, but dad was telling people I got it up to 90 MPH. I was 22 at the time and I stepped right into this one and told people it was only 88 MPH. For me this was a sense of pride and I didn't want to claim to throw harder than I did. I couldn't keep a straight face even to this day and tell people I threw that hard, it wouldn't feel right to do so either. I think I envision myself at a gathering spitting a whole bunch of BS and then some people who were actually present for the event in question calling me on it, out in the open. What am I supposed to do then, curse them out and call them liars or leave? If I do the first it could lead to a big argument which I never enjoy or leave and have everyone talk about me behind my back. I'd rather not have to deal with any of that crap and just give them the facts from the get go. Believe it or not, I think ahead about a lot of things, plan for scenarios so I don't panic and try to cover all my bases beforehand. Nothing is worse than a tainted legend, which is why all the steroids users in baseball will never be hall of famers. That actual leads me to the next portion of our program.

If all those steroid users had answered yes to the question "have you ever used steroids" or something along those lines right away their predicament would not have really changed. When you stop and think about it its like the guy at a party who lied and no one ever thought anyone would find out. There were obviously people on the inside who knew what was going on and it didn't take as long as they figured for them to either talk or find the truth. Nearly all of those suspected denied it first to try and save their own asses. It only prolonged their dwindling reputations and then the whole thing caved in. It was sad to watch some of my past heroes go down but everyone knew they were guilty. I know there were a lot of factors as to why they lied and this wasn't a case of tell us the truth and we will go easy on you, but rather this is everything I worked my entire life for and I want to hold onto it for a little bit longer before it goes away forever. Knowing the crap is going to hit the fan is a bad feeling, but trying to control when that happens is an even worse feeling. You have to try an manipulate so many things and people that its not even worth it.

I like to think of the time(s) back in sixth grade when I didn't do my Math Olympiad for Ms. Macnamee. Whenever she would come by for it I would open up and pretend to search in all my folders under my desk until she took a hint and walked away. I must have fumbled around under there for what seemed like hours, it was a constant happening. Eventually I had to make them up anyways, which wasn't fun. I was getting graded so to pass I had to do them at some point, there was no doubt in my mind. I just didn't want to do them (math has never been my strong subject) at that time. A lot of things in life are either pay me now or pay me later, there are no exceptions. If I had simply spoken to the teacher about not doing it I would have only succeeded in being made to do them sooner. I did create a lot of mental strain trying to lie about it, stuff no one ever needs.
If I had simply been asked the question "did you do your homework" there was no way I could try to hide it.

Yes or no questions are easy but people like to complicate them as best they can. In my mind something either happens or it doesn't. It doesn't sort of happen. When you get a problem that talks about flipping a coin 100 times and 'how many times will it be heads or tails' it is pretty simple. They never say 'how many times will it land on its side?' because that is not an option, but rather a gray area that does not pertain to the question at hand. The statement "I sort of got into Harvard" does not make sense because you are either going to Harvard or you are not, end of story. Using a more extreme example (and I know this could be a bit of an exaggeration but I'm taking a lesson from dad here) to prove my point, if you asked someone who recently climbed Mount Everest if everyone made it back safely you would expect them to say 'yes' or 'no'. You wouldn't expect them to say "well Pete didn't make it, but I'm sure he's fine up there" because we all know the truth; Pete is a Popsicle. I realize that this can be sort of cruel question because Pete is a person and that allows him to also be someones son, husband, father and best friend but that doesn't change the fact that he is now dead.

Why do we like to complicate things? Tell stories that capture the imagination but are outright lies? I'd rather people say to others 'he's just being modest' than 'he's full of it'. People are going to either find out you are full of it or never believe a word you say if you don't tell them the truth, and those are two great options. I only give credit where credit is due and I expect others do the same. If I tell someone that they have to check out a restaurant I'd rather they not be so excited that they have to do it right away and are disappointed, but have them wait and really have a good time without too much expectation. I like to be pleasantly surprised and make others feel the same way. If I tell you to do something or recommend a place to eat you should always take my advice, especially on food because nothing pissed me off more than a bad meal (and I can take forever to order and this is why I frequent places or do research beforehand). People have different tastes, but I know that if it was well worth my valuable time then I am willing to put my reputation on the line so that they can enjoy it, too.

This is a bit to think about before an upcoming post which deals with a yes or no question I have had about myself for years. 

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