World Autism Awareness Day: Looking Back At Myself, It Was Always Obvious

When my parents first picked me up down in Colombia I was simply their third child and second son who they loved very much. My brother, sister and me we all adopted from Colombia, although I came along a few years after they did. That story is a miracle in itself and I need to get all the facts straight before sharing it with you (you might have to wait for the book to be done for that one). They got me home and showed me to the world. But there was something they couldn't figure out. I wouldn't look at anyone and whenever someone tried to pick my up I would arch backwards. They called this "The Arch", both appropriately and not surprisingly. Even to this day if someone tries to touch under my armpits I will violently close the gap, often throwing an elbow; do not test me on this. Other than that I was fine, just like any other child.

Whenever I ask my dad about my childhood he takes it the wrong way. It's odd but I feel like he doesn't see Asperger's as something that affects me. Anyhow, I asked him once if he recalls why I didn't often smile in pictures as a child. He immediately burst out "You were a happy kid!" No, shit dad, we had everything I could have ever wanted growing up. If he let me finish my thought it would have been known that I felt no one saw this as the first red flag. The picture above is what I am talking about. Here at four years old I am shown playing with blue Play-Doh and wearing a blue shirt, both very fitting. there is also no one around me. I would always go over an make objects with the ball and rolling pin. You could say I gravitated towards them with reckless abandon. On the playground, however, I would join in with everyone else, but when I could, I would self isolate and that remains true to this day.

At around age twelve my mother asked me if I wanted to join a play group with a couple kids I knew. I declined and I liked that she was always one to allow freedom of choice. All those kids ended up going to private school anyway. Around the same time I began telling my father, I'm different dad, I don't know what it is, but there is a reason I don't do what the other kids are doing. This didn't concern him too much as he must have thought I was approaching puberty and that my brain was already starting to change. The thing with parenting is that you can't be there all the time, you don't know what your child is exposed to when you are not around. You don't see how they do in social situations and why they take themselves out of them voluntarily. I don't place any blame on them, in fact there is no blame to be had by anyone. I am who I am and wouldn't change it for the world.

Life would simply be too boring if I were someone else. True, I've missed out on a bunch of things that you neurotypicals take for granted i.e dating, going to prom, fitting in (period) and understanding body language, but you don't have some of the talents I do. In a way we are all equal, we are given certain thing we can and can't do and it is our task to figure out and nurture those gifts. I am not talking about economics situations here, either, but we all know that helps and can hinder people just as much. I am talking about exploiting your own natural talents in order to make a better life for yourself. You are given all the tools, all you have to do is get to work.

I don't really know how to end this post, but I will say this, you know more of 'US' than you think you do, so keep your eyes open as we are everywhere.