Games with Thy self

Having such a rapidly moving mind does have its drawbacks. I get bored sometimes. I'm not listing this as OCD because I'm not sure if it is. This may seem like a form of self induced anxiety. Let me explain. One thing I do is when I first wake up. I look at the clock and see what time it is. I think to myself that something bad will happen if I don't get out of bed before the time changes to the next minute. I hop out of bed with my eyes on the clock the whole time to see if it has changed or not. If it does before I get fully out I feel a quick sense of panic. This panic dissipates when I realize that nothing bad is going to or ever had happened due to my failure to get out in time. If I do get out in time, more often than not, I feel like I won for some reason.

I also do something similar to this when watching TV. This more often happens when watching sports. As the camera pans left to right in between the pitches of a baseball game I keep my mind on a place where I think the camera has enough time to get to. I silently hope that the announcer will not butt in because this means that another pitch is about to be delivered. Just like with the clock, if the camera does pan far enough to make it to the predetermined point then I feel relief. If it doesn't, a little bit of panic sets in. I also find it annoying when the camera stops right before the point I had chosen and rests there for a second to show something, knowing the whole time that if it kept moving it would have at least reached the point and maybe gone even further. I myself have no idea why I do this and have not come across it being discussed before.

The connecting with these two things is that there is a sense of panic when I don't make it and a feeling of relief when I do. I could probably highlight a couple more examples but I'm sure you get the idea. Back before I learned that it didn't matter whether I made it or not I felt as if something bad was going to happen. As I matured I learned not to care but continue to do it to this day.

Is it possible that I do I do this out of boredom? Maybe. I'd like to hear what you have to say on this matter. There is one good side effect that comes from the whole clock thing; it gets me out of bed.