I don't really know where to begin with this one as I am sort of all over the map here. This might be a long post and hopefully it will all be meaningful. I guess this time I'll start with a real problem area instead of one of my strengths, and that would be scent sensitivity.
Ever since I was little I have hated the scent of womens perfume, girly candles, peppermint/hot cinnamon and those various scented trees people put in their cars. Since I was often with my mom when shopping she expected me to go into each store with her, naturally. The majority I was fine but one in particular I could not stand, Yankee Candle. I could last maybe about a minute in there before I was overcome by a sick feeling and more frequently a pain right in the middle of my forehead. She began to notice this and not force me to go in the store and to this day it is one of the places I try to avoid. That being said, the Christmas Cookie scent they put out is one of my favorites, mainly because it smells real. That being said, I may be over sensitive to artificial scents, but I honestly don't know at this point. Perfume is still a big one for me at this point and that can be problematic as women like to wear it. Am I going to date a woman and tell her she can't wear perfume? On the other hand I don't have too much problem with the deodorant products that I use, mainly because they seem less intense or that I am used to them; once again, I don't really know. I don't really have any strong natural smells that offend me. Food, forget about that one being an issue. I love food and there is nothing that I eat that I don't like the smell of, that is half the battle. I don't eat broccoli, though. I tried it recently and the taste was unbearable, now I know why they try to market it to kids when its covered in cheese sauce. Basically all hot vegetables, with the exception of potatoes, gross me out. How appealing is hot lettuce to anyone? Crispy and cold is the way to go. I always get my sausage at the ballgame without peppers and onions because it just looks slimy to me. The only onions I eat are cold and white, red is also OK. I think scent is more or less mind over matter for me, on some things. I wish I could get over the candles/perfume issues, but I know it could be worse. Let's move onto sound, shall we?
My hearing has always been off the charts. I think it has something to do with the basic animal part of my brain that I went over in "Call Me Captain Caveman". It is all about survival. The better you hear and can therefore earlier assess something trying to sneak up on you, the longer you'll live. Of course, that matter much more long ago. As it is pretty tough to undo evolution I'm stuck with above average hearing, such a shame. I get accused of eavesdropping a lot because I can hear people in the other room. I like to zero in on different conversations in a crowded restaurant which is eavesdropping but its not my fault you decided to talk about something in an open setting. People who know me are aware that I listen to music louder than most, and no, not deafening. This might seem to them that I cannot hear at all. What I am in fact doing is turning the volume up to amplify the back ground noises. I realize this also does the same for the main instrumentals but I can sort of 'listen past' those and 'hear behind' them. I listen for all the little ticks and instrumentals that make up a song, and I do enjoy discovering these sounds that have always been there. This also distracts my mind from counting, social anxiety or a million other things that could be going on. Have you ever noticed a lot of people on the autism spectrum wear headphones? I don't need to be that isolated but music sure does help.
In addition to the regular sounds of everyday life I do hear a light 'static' all the time but its not tinnitus because it has been going on since I was young and I have no history of ear infections or hearing loss. It could be Radio Frequency (RF) hearing but then again I'm not sure. If I don't try to 'listen' to it for a while it goes away, sort of, but then it will come back and, just like hearing a ticking clock that sounds like it is getting louder as you tune your ear to it, that is all I hear again (not really all I hear, but it gets annoying, you get the picture). The light static is a burden sometimes and I just want it to stop. Anyone who has metal detected may know how to compare what I hear. I use a White's metal detector and there is something called a 'threshold' which is the continuous sound used to listen for target signals. Now imagine your hearing works exactly like that; you can always hear what is going on around you but there is a constant back ground noise you also have to content with. That is the best way I can explain it. Loud noises don't really bother me too much. I sort of live by the belief that anything can happen at any time, so always be ready. I can get startled, of course, but I'm not going to freak out by an alarm going off or an ambulance driving by. I think that, over time, I have conditioned myself to deal with loud noises. Sight is another one of my senses that is very linked to sound.
If I hear something the next step is seeing it. Just like my sensitivity to sound, I have very acute vision. I notice things, whether something has been changed or whatever it may be, I'll be the first to point it out. This may be due to my attention to detail or, once again, my basic animal instincts for sensing that something isn't right. By 'right' I don't mean bad, but just not as it was the last time. I've learned not to doubt this sense at all, just like my memory for faces. They both are a deep gut instinct that goes beyond having to think about it. This may have been heightened further by my jewelry training, as minute details take on more importance. Although I am detail oriented I try not to let that ruin or get in the way of things, like how I spend my time. I have to control what is important and let go what is not, otherwise I'd be nit picking something forever. Instead, let's explore a more touchy subject.
Touch is something that I am OK with, more so than most people on the spectrum. Handshakes are fine with me as is hugging. but the latter is usually a greeting that replaces the former when its someone I know well. When most people need a hug, usually do to emotion, I tend to leave the hug out. I don't need hugs because I typically don't cry and the only situation that would warrant that would be an embrace before a long goodbye or a death. Other than those things, touch doesn't really happen that often for me, sort of like other people riding in my car. I did get a massage recently (couldn't resist that Groupon) and I was touched all over and very deeply, as it was a deep tissue massage. I thought I might have a problem with it but I was fine. I also thought, that due to the fact that I am not used to being touched all over by a woman (ever) that I would become aroused. I did not and this was really surprising to me. Maybe my self control is getting better or it may be that typically when I am around a lot of women, whom I'd want to touch me, alcohol is involved. That being said there is one place that you can never try to touch me, which is under my armpits. I have always hated being touched there. I have pictures of myself as a baby doing something curious, and that is when someone is most often picked up with hands under the armpits. I used to do a thing my mom called 'the arch'. I would literally arch myself backwards every time someone picked me up this way. I still think that my extreme dislike of being uncomfortable being touched there stems from when I was an infant. When you think about it you're basically helpless in that position, or at least I felt like I was. I will immediately close the area off like a bear trap when a person goes to touch me there, and if continual efforts are made I'll use my elbows, and you don't want it to get to that point, trust me.
So now you know what I am sensitive to, physically, that is. Emotionally, though, I'll always be a brick wall that there are only a few ways past; so good luck figuring them out.
Ever since I was little I have hated the scent of womens perfume, girly candles, peppermint/hot cinnamon and those various scented trees people put in their cars. Since I was often with my mom when shopping she expected me to go into each store with her, naturally. The majority I was fine but one in particular I could not stand, Yankee Candle. I could last maybe about a minute in there before I was overcome by a sick feeling and more frequently a pain right in the middle of my forehead. She began to notice this and not force me to go in the store and to this day it is one of the places I try to avoid. That being said, the Christmas Cookie scent they put out is one of my favorites, mainly because it smells real. That being said, I may be over sensitive to artificial scents, but I honestly don't know at this point. Perfume is still a big one for me at this point and that can be problematic as women like to wear it. Am I going to date a woman and tell her she can't wear perfume? On the other hand I don't have too much problem with the deodorant products that I use, mainly because they seem less intense or that I am used to them; once again, I don't really know. I don't really have any strong natural smells that offend me. Food, forget about that one being an issue. I love food and there is nothing that I eat that I don't like the smell of, that is half the battle. I don't eat broccoli, though. I tried it recently and the taste was unbearable, now I know why they try to market it to kids when its covered in cheese sauce. Basically all hot vegetables, with the exception of potatoes, gross me out. How appealing is hot lettuce to anyone? Crispy and cold is the way to go. I always get my sausage at the ballgame without peppers and onions because it just looks slimy to me. The only onions I eat are cold and white, red is also OK. I think scent is more or less mind over matter for me, on some things. I wish I could get over the candles/perfume issues, but I know it could be worse. Let's move onto sound, shall we?
My hearing has always been off the charts. I think it has something to do with the basic animal part of my brain that I went over in "Call Me Captain Caveman". It is all about survival. The better you hear and can therefore earlier assess something trying to sneak up on you, the longer you'll live. Of course, that matter much more long ago. As it is pretty tough to undo evolution I'm stuck with above average hearing, such a shame. I get accused of eavesdropping a lot because I can hear people in the other room. I like to zero in on different conversations in a crowded restaurant which is eavesdropping but its not my fault you decided to talk about something in an open setting. People who know me are aware that I listen to music louder than most, and no, not deafening. This might seem to them that I cannot hear at all. What I am in fact doing is turning the volume up to amplify the back ground noises. I realize this also does the same for the main instrumentals but I can sort of 'listen past' those and 'hear behind' them. I listen for all the little ticks and instrumentals that make up a song, and I do enjoy discovering these sounds that have always been there. This also distracts my mind from counting, social anxiety or a million other things that could be going on. Have you ever noticed a lot of people on the autism spectrum wear headphones? I don't need to be that isolated but music sure does help.
In addition to the regular sounds of everyday life I do hear a light 'static' all the time but its not tinnitus because it has been going on since I was young and I have no history of ear infections or hearing loss. It could be Radio Frequency (RF) hearing but then again I'm not sure. If I don't try to 'listen' to it for a while it goes away, sort of, but then it will come back and, just like hearing a ticking clock that sounds like it is getting louder as you tune your ear to it, that is all I hear again (not really all I hear, but it gets annoying, you get the picture). The light static is a burden sometimes and I just want it to stop. Anyone who has metal detected may know how to compare what I hear. I use a White's metal detector and there is something called a 'threshold' which is the continuous sound used to listen for target signals. Now imagine your hearing works exactly like that; you can always hear what is going on around you but there is a constant back ground noise you also have to content with. That is the best way I can explain it. Loud noises don't really bother me too much. I sort of live by the belief that anything can happen at any time, so always be ready. I can get startled, of course, but I'm not going to freak out by an alarm going off or an ambulance driving by. I think that, over time, I have conditioned myself to deal with loud noises. Sight is another one of my senses that is very linked to sound.
If I hear something the next step is seeing it. Just like my sensitivity to sound, I have very acute vision. I notice things, whether something has been changed or whatever it may be, I'll be the first to point it out. This may be due to my attention to detail or, once again, my basic animal instincts for sensing that something isn't right. By 'right' I don't mean bad, but just not as it was the last time. I've learned not to doubt this sense at all, just like my memory for faces. They both are a deep gut instinct that goes beyond having to think about it. This may have been heightened further by my jewelry training, as minute details take on more importance. Although I am detail oriented I try not to let that ruin or get in the way of things, like how I spend my time. I have to control what is important and let go what is not, otherwise I'd be nit picking something forever. Instead, let's explore a more touchy subject.
Touch is something that I am OK with, more so than most people on the spectrum. Handshakes are fine with me as is hugging. but the latter is usually a greeting that replaces the former when its someone I know well. When most people need a hug, usually do to emotion, I tend to leave the hug out. I don't need hugs because I typically don't cry and the only situation that would warrant that would be an embrace before a long goodbye or a death. Other than those things, touch doesn't really happen that often for me, sort of like other people riding in my car. I did get a massage recently (couldn't resist that Groupon) and I was touched all over and very deeply, as it was a deep tissue massage. I thought I might have a problem with it but I was fine. I also thought, that due to the fact that I am not used to being touched all over by a woman (ever) that I would become aroused. I did not and this was really surprising to me. Maybe my self control is getting better or it may be that typically when I am around a lot of women, whom I'd want to touch me, alcohol is involved. That being said there is one place that you can never try to touch me, which is under my armpits. I have always hated being touched there. I have pictures of myself as a baby doing something curious, and that is when someone is most often picked up with hands under the armpits. I used to do a thing my mom called 'the arch'. I would literally arch myself backwards every time someone picked me up this way. I still think that my extreme dislike of being uncomfortable being touched there stems from when I was an infant. When you think about it you're basically helpless in that position, or at least I felt like I was. I will immediately close the area off like a bear trap when a person goes to touch me there, and if continual efforts are made I'll use my elbows, and you don't want it to get to that point, trust me.
So now you know what I am sensitive to, physically, that is. Emotionally, though, I'll always be a brick wall that there are only a few ways past; so good luck figuring them out.
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