Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Asperger's vs. Fiery Latino Passion

Outspoken, loud, fiery, passionate: these words describe what most people associate with people of Latino/Hispanic descent. But, these four words are almost always left out when talking about someone on the autism spectrum. I am a member of both of these circles and I am here to tell you that one of them is clearly dominate over the other. I don't know if it was really ever a choice for me. For me, Asperger's and its character traits win out over raw emotion.

Now of course there are times when I express emotions over certain situations. I feel excitement and the effects of drama when I watch or take part in sports. My competitive nature whist taking part in athletics has always been fierce, I don't like to lose that is for sure, but I'm not about to pull a John Mcenroe tantrum when I wind up on the losing end. I take my losses like a man. But other than that, I am as even keel as they come. In fact I am not easily angered by the usual stupidity in the world that other people are, although I do have some simple things that can get to me. And when things do happen, say when someone cuts me off when driving, I rarely if ever beep the horn. If I were to use the horn what would the person I used it against learn anyhow? I see more reasons not to react than to in most of life's situations, so why waste energy doing so? That is how I feel any way.

Being outspoken is not one of my strengths and I only am so when I think something really matters. I am not talking about general chit chat here, either, as I can be quite the chatterbox if you get me going. This is when I feel that there is something so wrong with the situation I'm witnessing that I have to take a stand. I don't do so unless it is something I truly care about. When the teacher used to ask "Now are there any questions" I was always hoping that someone else would ask why I was too embarrassed to. There is a certain type of situation that I do experience some of both parts of the four words stated earlier; situations that involve money.

I tend to get a little more stressed when there is money on the line. Whether it be bidding on eBay or negotiating prices in a store I find an arousal of emotion occurs in me. This isn't always the case, as some negotiating must be kept close to the vest, a good example being when I buy diamonds at the jewelers building. I like to 'play the game' when people try to negotiate with me on some of my merchandise, usually jewelry, though. I find it fun. By 'play the game' I don't mean that I'm trying to screw people over, just I like to think of it as a sport that leaves each side satisfied in the end; dissatisfied people tend to end things before an agreement is reached and you don't get paid.

When I argue with people they tend to do most of the yelling, just ask my mom. She has been set to tears on numerous occasion while I just sat there and watched. All I can do is sit there and wait, even exiting the situation and waiting until the next day when she has calmed down to discuss matters. Sorry, but I don't like dealing with emotional wrecks. The thing about that is you get into a situation where nothing can be agreed upon and anything THEY say is right and its as if your opinion doesn't matter. I tend to be the one who keeps my composure, and if other people were to watch they would clearly agree, but too bad the kinds of heated arguments between two people usually occur without an audience.

So that's about all I have for this one. The bottom line is I don't express emotions when I feel it is fine to do without them. I  make a great third party moderator and look at issues in an unbiased manner, allegiances be damned. If you want to hear the truth then ask me, I'll give it to you with a strait face, just don't ask and expect me to sugarcoat things or to go along with your view point; we Aspy's have never been good at lying.    

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