I always used to wonder, and sometimes still to this day, if what I was feeling was 'Normal'. By normal I mean 'is this the way that other people feel in a given situation. The way their brain processes things, is it the same as mine?' First you have to define what is normal, and for whom.
The fact is that you can't be on the same page as everyone else if you don't know how they feel in certain situations. Does the anxiety of someone kick in, like yours may, during the same situation and to what degree? I didn't really have the option to ask this question when I was younger, either because of fear or embarrassment or a million other reasons. I did, in time, come to realize that not all people have the same reaction as myself to certain situations, what I was feeling was 'normal' to me that is. I didn't until recently discover that a lot of what I was feeling was typical of my fellow AS community was feeling. But like the spectrum of autism as a whole the reaction level depends on the persons back ground and history. The one thing that all this information doesn't do is make said feelings go away, only time and experience can help with that, if you let it. Some things you want to stay sensitive to, like bullshit and knowing when something could be too good to be true. Everyday anxiety over little things does get better, though, and the whole process comes with maturity. I know there will always be a frightened child inside my head but the part of my brain that I developed to shut him up is how I deal with that.
The best way to decide for yourself is something is 'normal' is to observe people in the same circumstance. This can make you feel both jealous and proud. There are certain small things presently struggle with but some major things that I know others cannot handle are easy for me and just like AS itself that can be hard to understand/explain for other people. Seinfeld made a joke that sort of proves my point:
"I don't understand how a woman can take boiling hot wax, pour it on upper thighs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider."
That puts it into perspective I guess, or maybe not. Either way you look at it know that what you are feeling is normal to you and that is doesn't really matter how other people can deal with it, because at that very moment they are not you, going through something that you might not understand and feeling like you are the only one in the world who has ever had that problem. Luckily for me I can think outside of the moment and give myself advice about how to react as I am going through something uncomfortable. This took a long time to learn to do but I know when everyone else is panicking I am clear headed and busy thinking of a solution; of course that could all be reversed based on the situation. Why do you think I haven't asked a girl out yet?
The fact is that you can't be on the same page as everyone else if you don't know how they feel in certain situations. Does the anxiety of someone kick in, like yours may, during the same situation and to what degree? I didn't really have the option to ask this question when I was younger, either because of fear or embarrassment or a million other reasons. I did, in time, come to realize that not all people have the same reaction as myself to certain situations, what I was feeling was 'normal' to me that is. I didn't until recently discover that a lot of what I was feeling was typical of my fellow AS community was feeling. But like the spectrum of autism as a whole the reaction level depends on the persons back ground and history. The one thing that all this information doesn't do is make said feelings go away, only time and experience can help with that, if you let it. Some things you want to stay sensitive to, like bullshit and knowing when something could be too good to be true. Everyday anxiety over little things does get better, though, and the whole process comes with maturity. I know there will always be a frightened child inside my head but the part of my brain that I developed to shut him up is how I deal with that.
The best way to decide for yourself is something is 'normal' is to observe people in the same circumstance. This can make you feel both jealous and proud. There are certain small things presently struggle with but some major things that I know others cannot handle are easy for me and just like AS itself that can be hard to understand/explain for other people. Seinfeld made a joke that sort of proves my point:
"I don't understand how a woman can take boiling hot wax, pour it on upper thighs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider."
That puts it into perspective I guess, or maybe not. Either way you look at it know that what you are feeling is normal to you and that is doesn't really matter how other people can deal with it, because at that very moment they are not you, going through something that you might not understand and feeling like you are the only one in the world who has ever had that problem. Luckily for me I can think outside of the moment and give myself advice about how to react as I am going through something uncomfortable. This took a long time to learn to do but I know when everyone else is panicking I am clear headed and busy thinking of a solution; of course that could all be reversed based on the situation. Why do you think I haven't asked a girl out yet?
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