The Real Reason I Eat With Sterling Silverware

Since 2008 I have eaten each meal (at home) with a fork, spoon and knife made of sterling silver. Eccentric? Yes, of course. But then again there is a reason for everything. I came to the conclusion on day that I just couldn't go without having a set like this. You could say it was eating at me before I began eating with it. Part of it stems from being an amateur silversmith. I started doing that because I loved it so much. I only like doing things that make me happy and I'm sure you're the same way. I just tend to do some 'different' things than you do, and I don't mind at all. I embrace them because they are who I am.

At around the same time as I bought my silver set I was figuring out who I was. I did more research on AS than I had previously and it was a real eye opener. I quit fussing over why I did certain trademark things and just let them happen, for better or worse. A feeling of calm came over me when I realized who I was and not to be afraid of it.

Recently I sold the old three piece set and bought a four piece of a repousse design. Eating with a what can be considered artwork suits me well. It did cost a pretty penny ($160) but it was well worth it. Often times I just sit there and admire my set after I've used it. The fork gets used most often and even though I polished it a little the prongs react with saliva in a way that tones them a few different colors, most notably blue on the very tips. I don't think I need to tell you why I like this color or even what it means to me ;)

This is what the set looks like. Some of my older work can also be seen here but I am currently about to re-open my workshop, and with renewed vigor to boot.

http://community.webshots.com/user/preciousmetalman

Questions?

How Autism/Asperger's Makes Me Feel

Everyone has felt out of rhythm from time to time, with themselves as well as others. This is natural. But what if you were like me the beat kept changing or you felt like you lost it all together? This for better or worse is what autism feels like. It’s not something you can just feel like any other emotion. It is something you are born with, or without. Let me explain.

Since I was very young I would tell my father that I didn't feel the same as other kids and that somehow I just knew I was different. This is not because people told me so. It is because I observed what others were doing and did not feel the need or interest to do the same. And it wasn't just jealousy of what one or a couple other kids were doing. This was nearly everyone else. Even back then I could see the patterns of others and how they interacted with one another and how I perceived them to be. I didn't see myself as able or willing to behave this way. I could tell there was something 'off' about myself, but for years I could not figure out why.

Sixteen rolled around and I was formally diagnosed and that gave me more of an explanation, but then again, it didn't really explain anything at all. It wasn't until I looked into it, at 22, did I figure out what autism meant. It was then I began to figure out who I was. Even since then I have found out more but that did not come by reading books. It happened by thinking about the things I did and trying to analyze why I did them. For the last couple years I have taken out 30 minutes of each day, often an hour, to lie in my bed and think about myself and what is happening in my life at that moment or past events. I think why I did things a certain way and, if any changes had occurred, why they did so and for what reason. Some things do not change over time, some do, and the key for me is figuring out when and why they have.

Maybe its maturity or I just decided it was the best thing to do. Either way, change can happen for me, it’s just that it takes a while and options are weighed out beforehand. This whole process I sort of borrowed and adapted from an Einstein quote. He once said that "It not that I'm so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer". After all if it’s about you then you tend to take more time and care in figuring out as to 'why?’

Many of the things I used to be apprehensive about now seem childish and I wonder why I was afraid to partake. There are certain things that you can only do when you are younger, where the window is finite and it will close forever if not acted upon. I let a lot of these moments slip away; sad but true. The list is long and I know I can never get them back. Looking back is good for a point of reference, I don't let the past haunt me, too much. What I chose to do now is act on what I know I can still control or manage.

One of the curious things I figured out about my process of sitting and thinking to myself came in a psychology class a couple years ago. This tendency, as well as a few others that I definitely have but will not reveal at this time, is a hallmark of a self actualized person. Note: Know that even before I contemplated saying this I thought about it for a while ;)

I've said this before and I will say it again; Autism is not like being on a different page than everyone else, its like reading from a different book. Though my drummer may be erratic at keeping the beat, he has his moments that make even me think "Wow!"

How I win Friends and Influence People

I could be described as not really the most social animal. I tend to shy away from that and any confrontation. That is my nature which is, mostly likely, different from yours. I instead look for opportunities to input myself or my knowledge towards a particular situation. You may see this as me being a 'Johnny Jump-in', meaning I sort of force myself into a conversation, but only if I am knowledgeable about said topic. I don't do so to try and make a fool of myself, as that happens naturally on a daily occurrence, so I make sure I know whats going on before jumping in. This can be construed as rude amongst certain company but many chose to let it slide out of necessity of information that I posses and their own inability to obtain it. I don't mind putting myself out there when people can benefit from it. Its not that complicated when you think about it.

I mostly just let word of mouth or my own actions dictate why people seek me. Common interests are a good way of meeting people. You get talking with them and by the end it just all seems natural, even for me once the ice is broken. Certain skills you possess can be good, too; just as long as you don't let people use you for them. I can't be too open you see, as AS is not something you go around telling everyone you have. The best they can do anyways is pretend to understand.

I left one part out. Meeting people is natural for me, as long as they are not female. If they happen to be female, well, thats a whole different set of rules that even I do not understand. Everything just gets lost in translation. That is when I truly struggle, but more on that at a later date.

Questions? Let me know.

What Blue Means to Me (April 2)

Blue has always been one of my favorite colors. All the different shades that are possible make up most of the beauty in the world. The sky, water and all of the exotic shades just add a nice touch to everything. I sort of lucked out in buying a blue car, I guess.

What I did not know until a few years ago was that is was the autism color. This is the color that made me proud of who I am and what I have become. Today is April 2, 2011. It is an easy date to remember because my Mom's birthday was yesterday, along with April Fools Day. Each coming year the day becomes more important to me, more of my identity.

A while ago I stopped running from who I was and began embracing it. Why would I want to run anyways? If I did I would only be running away from those who need me. A lot of people like me cannot speak for themselves. Its not easy to do, I do not mind that fact. It is also something that I have to do. The only regrets in life I have are things I have not done, yet. I do not want "failed all my peers" to be on that list.

I'd say its time to finish my book, wouldn't you?

On the Beach (in the field, an old homestead or at the park)

Note: The end of the post relates to Asperger's

One thing that I discovered when I was younger was my love of silver and gold. Just the sheen that the metal has excites me. I used to gravitate towards the silver, gold and even copper crayons. Though not practical to color most things with they were always my favorite. When I was about ten I was on an Andover Youth Services trip to Good Times in Somerville, MA when it happened. I was getting some quarters out of the machine when I noticed one of them was a slightly different color than the others. Curiosity got the better of me and I kept it, not an easy thing for a kid that age to do. Upon turning home I gave it a further inspection and noticed the edge was missing the copper 'ring' present on most coins. I knew right then it was different. I showed it to Mom and she told me it was 90% silver. I was amazed, to say the least. I'd flick it up and down only to hear the sweet ping that it made, easily recognizable from a distance.

I knew I would like to have more of these coins but didn't really know how. The seeds I planted then would wake up a couple years later when I would happen upon an add for White's metal detectors two years later. I was fascinated by them. I begged Dad to buy me one and after renting a cheap one he finally gave in, purchasing a used White's Spectrum XLT for $525. Probably the best investment he ever made. He would take to to houses he was buying and I would hunt in the yard. My first silver coin, coincidently, was a quarter dated 1942 in decent shape. The color of silver when it leaves the ground is usually a distinct whitish-gray, fairly obvious even to a first timer. I ran up to find Dad and popped the coin in his hand. He was just as surprised as I was.

Over the next 12 years, and still continuing until this day (and probably until I can't walk anymore) I have hunted parks, beaches and homesites and everywhere in between. I have found thousands in coins, jewelry and collectibles. My biggest find came at a beach with my water machine, the White's Surf PI Pro, in the form of a diamond wedding set. It appraised at over $5,000. I also got listed in two magazines for my find. The first was the Western and Eastern Treasures annual best finds issue and Silver & Gold, which is an annual for stories related to the best finds of the year. My article had pictures and was around four pages long.

I have also helped a lot of people with the hobby. Many come up to me on the beach and ask me to find things for them, which I do free of charge, although most throw a few bucks at me anyways. I have returned a couple class rings and one I currently have from the Class of 1969 in Ohio that I am working with a newspaper and trying to find the owner. I'd appreciate if they would hurry up, because its melt value is around $150, which I could use right now. In fact last time out in a park last Friday the 18th I found a nice 14k wedding band worth $100 scrap gold. Not bad for two hours of fun in the sun.

So what does this have to do with AS? Well, everything really. In many ways this is the perfect hobby for me. Outside, exercise, around people, reading and understanding electronics and patterns and changing situations. All of that and it is very challenging and gives you respect for both public and private property. My machine is like an extension of my arm when I'm out there. Every little nuance I process and determine what it means. True, I have an expensive ($1,000) and advanced machine but I also had to learn how to use it properly. Put plainly, I'm very good. Even on the beach with my water machine the guy following behind me said "You don't miss much, do you?" with a smile on his face. "Nope, I sure don't" was my reply.

When I was younger at the beach I would first start away from the people and walk towards them. This let them see me and then they would go back to what they were doing. That or walk over and talk to me. I usually keep my sunglasses on to avoid their eye contact. I don't give too much info away and don't show finds off to them. This can make it so you get taken by them, or someone else overhearing the story of the find and its key elements. (this has been done by scammers who describe the item perfectly then run away with it, although I haven't been that kind of victim. I only show to the other hunters out there. I sometimes wish the people would go away. I can nearly meditate when I'm out there, only stopping to recheck a signal or dig a hole, which I fill in afterwards, don't worry ;). It's an alone hobby unless you have a hunting buddy or belong to a club, which I do not.

All the discipline and learning my machines have paid off for me, in more ways than one. After digging 30 pull tabs you want to give up, but hope allows you to press on. When that silver or gold does come up it makes it all worthwhile. Sometimes I spend 6-8 hours on the beach, which all depends on the tides and what I'm finding.

I don't always find what I want to but I ALWAYS find something worthwhile.

@ The Barber (What friends are for)

While I was attending school at Umass Lowell I lived in the Boott Mills, not far from campus. Outside there was a barber shop called Salon 22 that I would always walk by but never enter. I got my haircuts at a different place. I finally decided to stroll in when I had about four months left at the apartment. I'm glad I did. I met Moreno. He is Dominican and resembles Mr. Sandman from Punchout! He probably gave me the best, cheapest haircut (%15) I ever had. Even my roommate said it look better than ever. Needless to say, I went back. I would always give him $20 just because it ended up looking good and Moreno took the extra care to do so. It was about a forty five minute process which began with the buzzer and scissors and ended with a manual shaving razor that Moreno would carefully trim with, getting all the details just right. My type of person. Him and I would talk and he would show me videos like Silent Library on his phone. Always a joy when I went in there.

More recently he was fired, for no reason, by the salon. He and the others guys were like brothers for seven years. Then it ended abruptly. They wouldn't even give him the client list. Luckily I had Moreno's card and gave him a call, and at that time he explained what had happened. He said that he was now at a place where he could take his clients, very few at this point. He gave me the address and I went to it. It was an OK place, mainly a female salon where he was the only man there, but that is what he needed to do. I would get a couple of cuts there and he told me his plans to have his own shop. I was excited for him and told him I wanted to be the first customer, well I insisted upon it. Each time I came back he would show me the progress he was making towards designs for the new place. I would text him and ask when it was opening, "a couple weeks" was always the response.

Last week I asked once again and he told me that I could come to the new place on Monday, 21st, which Monday is his off day. I found the place and it was very close to where I used to live, (stones throw from Salon 22) but not quite done. I waited for five minutes and he was there at 2pm. He unlocked the door and told me to wait a couple minutes while he got ready. I took a look/walk around as he did so and told him it looked good. He didn't even have a sign outside yet. Moreno said he was actually a little nervous about the new environment, not for the business itself, but because he hadn't cut hair there before. I laughed when he said this and so did he.

Right after the first snip he called his wife and she gave him a big congratulations over the phone. We then talked about his plans for the new place and how he had been working every weekend to renovate and find equipment. His idea is very solid. Before I left I pulled out my wallet and he shook his head. I half expected this but continued to pull out the dollar that I had already inscribed something to the effect of "You skill with your array of hair sculpting tools and fierce customer loyalty will keep you successful". I also signed my name and he had me put the date on the bill as he took a couple pictured on his phone.

The thing is he was the only barber at Salon 22 that I would let touch my hair. Sometimes I would wait an hour, with an appointment mind you, for him to see me. He knew this well. My loyalty to my friends goes very far to anyone that has done well by me, and exactly the opposite to those who have done me wrong. When I told him I wanted to be first Moreno understood, and also wanted the same thing. This is what friends are for.

His shop will not open for another couple of weeks and he did it as a friendly gesture to me, which I will never forget. Sounds like a good start to @ The Barber by Moreno if you ask me.

My Jewelry Workshop

Every since I can remember I have loved jewelry. Just the look feel and weight get me every time. If you wear anything fake around me, I can tell. While at Worcester Academy it took on a whole new meaning. I had to do a senior project to get a diploma (we paid enough for one year so it sounded like a good deal) and they told me I could do anything I wanted. I talked to one of the teachers, Ms. Van Hooern, and she gave me the proper resources. This wasn't going to be about stringing beads or anything. This was seat of your pants alloying, melting and fabricating with an acetylene torch. It all went well enough to get a diploma, but it didn't stop there.

Over then next couple of years I would go on to experiment for many countless hours in my workshop. I started by making less complicated rings and cuff bracelets. I felt I needed more of a challenge and looked at the DVD I had ordered on how to construct a twisted curb ID bracelet. It was about a two hour video and I watched it a couple times. Using this newfound knowledge I went back in the workshop and built the thing from scratch in about four hours. It was challenging at times but a very worthwhile lesson.

I feel calm in the workshop. Sure I'm working with fire, up to 4,500F at times, but its a very relaxing experience. Some days I would spend six or seven hours out there, toiling away. It could be the whole isolation thing or controlling something, fire, that I never thought I could. It may be the way imagination flows or the excitement I get from discovering how to make a new design. I would take the time to show whoever was interested in how it all worked, naturally. No one really had time to see a project through the end but they got the gist of it.

In spring of 2008 I had shoulder surgery to repair my labrum that I tore playing baseball while at Umass Lowell. My mom eventually moved and I had to pack up the workshop indefinitely. But things have not changed. The seed of creativity that I planted then still waits for a time when it can blossom once again. That time is near as my dad is moving and building me a workshop in his basement. I have recently obtained plenty of silver, in a variety of different forms, as well as a nice 5 gram bar of 24k pure gold. All my tools seem intact and all I need is another tank of fuel for the torch and to re-order some consumable items that may have expired.

One of the first things I make is going to be a 14k or 18k ring with a small square of blue gold in the middle. Blue is the Asperger color. It won't be easy to make, especially the blue gold alloying part, but it will be worth it. I'll have to first make a sample out of sterling silver because I don't want to screw up on gold. That would be an expensive mistake. I will be sure to put up pictures when it is done but that is about a month away and the house isn't done yet.

In the mean time you can see some of my old basic work on Webshots http://community.webshots.com/user/preciousmetalman or the better stuff, how to make a nicer ring or the ID chain by first friending me on Facebook and checking my photo albums.