Why I'm Awkward (Or at least think I am)

There is never one reason why. If I have learned one thing in life then it would be that everything is affected by everything else and nothing is an isolated incident. There is, of course, more than one reason that I am awkward.

I always tend to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, well, embarrassing to myself or someone else that is. It's like I don't even think it through before, all of a sudden, boom! it's out there. My brain has a mind of its out and it likes to prove that fact to me and anyone else in earshot. I always worry that there may be more than one of us in there. Trust me when I say that it feels great. I am better now at keeping that idiot under wraps.

I feel like I get looks from people everywhere I go. I feel like they're out to get me for some reason. Cops? Let's not even go there. I just feel like everyone knows all about me without even talking to me first, like there is just a clear spot in front of my brain that they can read everything that is going on as if it were a digital marquee at a theater. Anything they think they know is probably false, unless I've told them prior. I think its my lack of eye contact that enables them to be judgmental sort of the mindset of 'If you've met one then you've met them all'. This goes without saying that less know about me than those that truly do and the people that do know understand, as well as they can anyway.

I don't like how I can never seem to quite know what others are talking about without having to think it over first and by that time I have missed the point. This doesn't happen as often as it used to but every now and again I find myself lost in conversation.

It should be noted that the only true sports I find myself able to do are baseball and golf. The first one I excelled in, I even played in college. It was pitching, not hitting. As for golf, I can still hit it 275 yards after not being on a course for years. As for dancing, well, have you ever seen a cow being poked by a cattle prod? Just know that its a very unnatural motion. I run OK, until I get tired and begin to look like Carlton Banks dancing.

I could be described as awkward if you get to know me long enough. To most people though, I'm just a figment of their imagination, something they thought they saw until I somehow vanished, never to be seen again. Some wonder where I could had come from while others wonder where I could have gone.

My friends know me well enough that I'm not going to change and even if I could, they like me the way I am. I keep things loose and light and allow them to laugh, even for a short time, before getting back to their own problems. It goes both ways, as I can see their problems as something to both laugh at and learn from. We help one another through, that is just what friends do.

I have realized that I'm only awkward because I think I am so. In a way everyone is to everyone else, sort of like what I said by everything being interconnected in some odd way that you probably never thought of before. When the mind has time enough to think things over it can come to some interesting conclusions; and I reckon that's where the notion of me being awkward came from. Whether it was your brain, mine, or a combination of the two that came up with that answer remains to be discovered.

Questions or Comments? Let me know.

Jewelry School and How it Relates to AS

The whole week down in Virginia Beach was one of the best experiences for me as I've ever had. I learned a lot about myself and what I was capable of. I wasn't nervous about travelling alone for the first time, even paid for the plane ticket, but the journey to a place I had no idea of was sort of like back in college, just farther away. Instead of being a fifteen minute car ride away I was a plane trip. I just took the scale of it out of the equation. The layovers at the airport were boring because I had no one to talk to and had to take my two bags everywhere I went.

The hand work itself was sort of like learning anything else; in the beginning you're sort of crappy at it but through practice and repetition you can become a master. I like to approach it as I would when I think about how I learned to play video games when I was younger. I used to be poor at them and would try so hard. I then came back to the same games when I was older and was able to master them. The hand control is something that can be learned, in time. I have no doubt that my techniques will advance to above average quicker than most but the initial awkwardness I encountered will linger for a little while as I test things out. Messing up is expected and tolerable to a point; provided the ring you're working on isn't too expensive.

I am excited to think what I will be able to make when my confidence with the tools, those I had no previous experience with, (such as the flex shaft and assorted burs) reaches new levels. Learning to me, especially various hand skills, has always been something I enjoyed but initially struggled with. There is a sort of struggle that AS provides in terms of learning new things that is unmatched by anything else I've seen people have to deal with. I almost have to trick myself into knowing I can, while wiping away the fear that thinks I cannot, and sometimes there is a lot of doubt and anxiety that can build up. Once I do, then I'm fine.

I am a little nervous about making the trellis ring, though. You start of with a one foot wire and then shape three baskets for the stones and a whole shank assembly, by hand. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that the wire is a solid piece of platinum! (The picture above is what it looks like)

I am sure that my time in Nashville, come the end of January, will be one of the best times of my life. I am nervous about it even now. I think to myself, often, "Can I really do this'? I then take a step back, laugh, and realize that I learned so much in five days, imagine what I can do under Blaine's instruction with sixty. That thought alone keeps me on track and striving towards my goal of becoming a goldsmith. Is this trade for everyone? Certainly not. Is it for me? You know the answer to that one ;)

Questions of Comments about my time at jewelry school? Let me know.

Jewelry School Part 5, The Last Day

The final day of the course was all about re-tipping and re-pronging stone settings. Re-tipping was actually easy, or it seemed so because I did it correctly the first time. All you have to do it heat a small ball of solder and place it on the prong to be re-tipped without having the ball 'migrate' down the prong. It was all about torch control. To round out the top of the prong we used a cup bur. This bur is unforgiving when it comes to cutting yourself as it is takes a 'core sample' rather than cutting you open. Blaine said he did this once and it took a long time to heal, very painful. We were all thrilled to be using it.

Blaine then lightened the mood by saying "Make sure you choose a size that flows loosely around the top of the prong, and make sure it isn't too small. If you use say, this one, (here he held up a very small bur) then it won’t be able to go fully around. We call this one 'The Yarmulke'". At that comment we couldn't help but laugh.

The ruby that was in the setting held up well to the heat of the torch, 3,700F, and turned a dark color when heated, then it turned back to its regular hue. I had the worst feeling that the stone was going to explode and hit me in the face.

The next task that day was to re-prong, two different ways. The first was to cut back the prong so that it could be filed at an angle to accept a new top. The part being put on had to also be filed accurately so it would fit onto the top at a 90 degree angle. It may sound confusing and it did, until I saw it done. The filing was important, as was holding the wire up after putting a ball of solder on the end of it. It was more of a free hand joint that we had to make, but we had had practice with this technique when doing the three stone ring, so it was easier this time around. Mine turned out a little sideways, but Blaine, (he had a trick for everything) showed us how to fix it using capillary action. If you heat the prong and the solder pick behind it carefully you can then push the piece back to position. This was a small miracle.

The second re-prong was to be done by cutting the prong halfway down and making a whole new piece from sheet stock. Using the old sheet we had used the first day we all cut out a piece around the size we would need. Next we were to use a four square file to make the girdle of the stone fit into it. This took a while but was of utmost importance. Eventually the piece was put into place and soldered together.

After lunch Blaine took is into the polishing room where we would learn some aspects of finishing our pieces. He had this polish that was mainly used on platinum that he used on most things now. It made everything look amazing and he had shown it to Tiffany's when he was helping to set up one of their factories. On a side not: Everything that Tiffany's needs worked on valued at over $100,000 they send to him. This was hands down the best polish I had ever used and I will surely bee buying some. Everyone who was not in the room, he took us in in small groups, was free to work on whatever they wanted.

Some people had to drive a long way home so a couple left early. We said our goodbyes to one another it was assured that a couple people were most likely coming back for the twelve week course. It was good to find this out as I would know some people from the get go. This is going to be at the end of January so I have some time to practice all the things I learned. One of the greatest things about the course is that the school is likely moving to Nashville, Tennessee! I've heard this is close to southern paradise as it gets. I can't wait to go back but I'm nervous all the same. What a journey it THAT be.

Jewelry School Part 4

The next mornings after breakfast the lot of us packed into cars and were off to class. Once there, some people set out to finish the three stone ring from the day before while others used the variety of flex shaft accessories to refine their work. This took up a decent amount of the morning. My ring had a lot of copper oxides coming through because I had heated it for too long. I was lucky, at one junction, not to undo my other solder joints or melt it entirely. Lucky we were using hard gold solder. I was just getting to clean my piece in the acid bath when Blaine had us come up front for another demo.

The typical chair race ensued and we each took our respective spots that we had since Monday. Today's lesson would be how to set stones. I had never done this before and using the flex shaft with certain burs to cut the prongs out was new to me. Blaine, of course, made it look easy. He gave us some heads to practice on and I was surprised when I cut my first seat to find that it looked OK. The second or third was not nearly as nice, beginners luck I guess. The trick was to angle the bur so that the stone would sit evenly at each of the four cut marks. Easier said than done, I'm afraid.

After a little practice I began to get the hang of it and now it was time to set the synthetic rubies that were handed out. The seats I cut this time were less than perfect but sufficed. I put my stone in and it fit, although it rattled around in the setting a bit. This was remedied by the technique we were shown. After a little manipulation of the prongs my stone never moved again. It was just about level too, I think I cut one of the seats out a little much; for a first effort it was good enough. To end the day Blaine had us do a couple of ring sizings, both up and down, to make sure we hadn't lost anything. In fact we all got better at this task. The class had apparently done its job.

The day ended as each one began; everyone packed into the car they had come with and we drove back to the hotel. It was a low key night and we met in the lobby bar, right in the lobby, to see if anything was going on. People were tired and after a couple drinks people didn't feel like going out that night. I was tired as well and decided it would be best just to have some dinner and relax for the night.

Jewelry School Part 3

As everyone groggily strolled in the next morning we took to our benches. I looked at my chain repairs from the next day to see if I had applied what I had learned correctly. Everything was fine. Blaine called us over and told us that we were doing so well as a group we were going to begin the three stone ring.

To me this seemed like a daunting task but when laid out its not too difficult. Blaine showed us, in great detail, how to cut a hole through each on the three parts of the top gallery of the ring. Each had four prongs and one was bigger than the other two. He drilled through and flattened each one. Next, using a special clay and some other techniques he made the bottoms of the settings match up. Doing this without the clay, is probably the most frustrating thing ever, or so I have heard. After the settings were attached we soldered them together. Mine came out better than I thought it would but there was more to be done.

The next step was making the ring shank. We cut a simple shank into a different shape and put a throat so that the bottom and top galleries would touch the corresponding parts of the ring. This may sound confusing but I'm sure you've seen what it's supposed to look like. I had a little trouble cutting it straight at first. Once I figured out the proper technique I measured and cut where the throat would be on each side. This was going fine until I broke the piece that would touch the bottom gallery off. This got me a little mad and I had to make it all over again.

Meanwhile, Blaine brought us up for another demo of how to solder the top gallery to the shank. This was a lot easier than anyone thought it could be, as long as you followed the tips and tricks that he showed and had good torch control, which at that point we all did. For some people this took longer to accomplish than others. I did it slowly for fear of messing up again. In the end it looked OK and I was proud of it. I didn't think I had it in me.

That night I relaxed with a quiet dinner and a few of us had some drinks by the pool. It was low key that night and we all drifted off on our own time up to our respective rooms.

Jewelry School Part 2

That first night the class ended at 5:30 and everyone involved was tired due to learning so much. I was especially tired due to all the human interaction that took place. I took a little break in my room and shower before dinner which a few of us went out for. We each had a couple drinks and discussed what had happened that day. Everyone sort of had their own opinion as to Blaine's teaching style but there was a consensus that his tips and tricks were useful. I liked the way they talked, as it let me know I had made the right choice.

The next day we picked up right where we left off. A term that would be continually used was capillary action, like how trees suck up water, just differently as to how solder flowed to joint to pieces. When Blaine showed us how this applied to jewelry we all stopped and shook our heads, not because we didn't think of it, but because it was all so simple. The answers to everything were in plain sight, just a new approach to thinking was needed; and I'm sure that is why the school was named as such. After lunch we learned how to repair a variety of chains that included rope, S link and herringbone. I'd never tried to do this on my own and didn't ever take the time to look at a chain closely, for one reason or another. Blaine asked around the room and sought input from a girl from Toronto, who we called Canada. She told the class her way of doing it and Blaine said that he had a way that would blow everyone's mind. It did. What would have taken Canada an hour took Blaine five minutes. You could tell Canada was impressed by the faces she kept making and her mannerisms; even I was able to distinguish these, it was that obvious. We ran out of time the second day before we could practice on our own.

Dinner again that night was something we went out for. After all we were on a sort of vacation from reality and decided to make the most of it. We loaded up and drove to the shore.

Tonight it would be a pizza/dive bar. There was a nice breeze coming off the ocean and we thought it best to sit outside. Everyone ordered beer, just the thing to take the edge off after a long day. We kept conversation to a minimum about class that day. The meal was a hearty one and there was more than enough to go around. There were sixty wings, three cheesy breads and two pizzas to go around. Between eight people that is a decent amount of food especially when half of them are girls. Even though I myself was tired I had a long time and participated in some of the conversation. After wards the whole gang agreed to walk the boardwalk.

We must have walked that thing for a good hour and a half before we realized we forgot which direction the car was parked. It may have been because we were both food and traditional drunk. Everyone had fun watching the street performers and people watching. I felt something tap me on the shoulder and was surprised that no one was there. Instead a bird had left its mark on me, although it didn't feel like good luck a the time. After all the fun had ended we piled back into the cars and drove home. I think I went to bed at midnight. Needless to say a few people were a little late the next morning.

Jewelry School Part 1

This past week, August 1-5, I took a trip down the New Approach School in Virginia Beach to take a five day course entitled Bench jeweler Comprehensive. This course serves as a way to learn basic bench skills, jewelry repair, troubleshooting, and time saving techniques. I had practiced the craft of jewelry making on my own the last few years but even this was something I needed to do. I narrowed my search down after I had heard good things about the school and wanted to pursue a career in design and repair. Going down for the class turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done.

I flew down to Virginia Beach on the 31st and checked into my hotel. I was eating in the lobby when I saw a group of people who didn't look like they were here for a conference and it didn't seem like they were family either. They looked like they could have been jewelers here for the course so I tried to gauge their conversation. It turns out they were not, but the guy sitting a few booths away from me was and I sat down with him and talked for a little. Jordan ended up being my ride the next morning which was what I needed more than anything else at that time anyways.

Arriving at the school at 8am, which was a suite in a large building, I walked inside with some of the others who were also there to sharpen their bench skills. We were each instructed to find a bench and I took one next to Jordan because we were familiar with one another already. Our instructor, Blaine Lewis, explained the class a little and we began with a sawing exercise. I had done OK at sawing but up to that point I had done all right at everything I tried anyways. Blaine showed us a new way of holding the saw frame and how to make what we were doing more effective. This worked better than my technique, to say the least. We then tried something I had not even considered and failed usually failed at; turning the saw blade mid stroke to cut at either an angle or a curved line. I was wondering how this was possible to do without breaking the blade but was happy to find I could do it. This was not the first time I was to be surprised that week.

Next came filing the piece so that it was even. Everyone needed a little work so a demo on how to do it was shown. Blaine is truly a master and watching him 'take care of business' so to speak was astounding to watch. He manipulated the file so that the piece, which looked like a cutout of the Sphinx, cleaned up quickly. The class followed and things began to take shape.

After lunch we learned about how the torches worked. It was fairly easy to do because I had used on before, just not one that had oxygen. It was also smaller than my torch I usually used but I couldn't melt a lot metal with it. This was far easier than even I had hoped. What you did was to light the flame, propane, then open the oxygen valve to refine and add heat to the flame. Flame size and control are key when repairing jewelry. Although flame is 3,700F you have to be careful as to its size and how you move it to achieve the desired effect.

After getting the flame to the right size we took the ring we had already taken a piece out of, thanks to our saw blades, and soldered it shut. This was relatively easy and a beginner could do it just by following the tips presents. Sizing a ring up was where a little more technique came into play. We measured a piece out from another ring shank and cut it to size. Then we put the piece into the ring we were sizing up so that it was even. This may sound dull as heck but there were a few tricks, that I will not tell here, that made this easy to do. Sometimes people had trouble soldering their ring without the insert falling out; Blaine had a trick for that. Any problem you could possibly encounter that man had a solution for. Time flew by and with breaks, lunch and trying out new things the first eight hour day flew by. There was plenty more knowledge to come though.