Asperger's vs. Fiery Latino Passion

Outspoken, loud, fiery, passionate: these words describe what most people associate with people of Latino/Hispanic descent. But, these four words are almost always left out when talking about someone on the autism spectrum. I am a member of both of these circles and I am here to tell you that one of them is clearly dominate over the other. I don't know if it was really ever a choice for me. For me, Asperger's and its character traits win out over raw emotion.

Now of course there are times when I express emotions over certain situations. I feel excitement and the effects of drama when I watch or take part in sports. My competitive nature whist taking part in athletics has always been fierce, I don't like to lose that is for sure, but I'm not about to pull a John Mcenroe tantrum when I wind up on the losing end. I take my losses like a man. But other than that, I am as even keel as they come. In fact I am not easily angered by the usual stupidity in the world that other people are, although I do have some simple things that can get to me. And when things do happen, say when someone cuts me off when driving, I rarely if ever beep the horn. If I were to use the horn what would the person I used it against learn anyhow? I see more reasons not to react than to in most of life's situations, so why waste energy doing so? That is how I feel any way.

Being outspoken is not one of my strengths and I only am so when I think something really matters. I am not talking about general chit chat here, either, as I can be quite the chatterbox if you get me going. This is when I feel that there is something so wrong with the situation I'm witnessing that I have to take a stand. I don't do so unless it is something I truly care about. When the teacher used to ask "Now are there any questions" I was always hoping that someone else would ask why I was too embarrassed to. There is a certain type of situation that I do experience some of both parts of the four words stated earlier; situations that involve money.

I tend to get a little more stressed when there is money on the line. Whether it be bidding on eBay or negotiating prices in a store I find an arousal of emotion occurs in me. This isn't always the case, as some negotiating must be kept close to the vest, a good example being when I buy diamonds at the jewelers building. I like to 'play the game' when people try to negotiate with me on some of my merchandise, usually jewelry, though. I find it fun. By 'play the game' I don't mean that I'm trying to screw people over, just I like to think of it as a sport that leaves each side satisfied in the end; dissatisfied people tend to end things before an agreement is reached and you don't get paid.

When I argue with people they tend to do most of the yelling, just ask my mom. She has been set to tears on numerous occasion while I just sat there and watched. All I can do is sit there and wait, even exiting the situation and waiting until the next day when she has calmed down to discuss matters. Sorry, but I don't like dealing with emotional wrecks. The thing about that is you get into a situation where nothing can be agreed upon and anything THEY say is right and its as if your opinion doesn't matter. I tend to be the one who keeps my composure, and if other people were to watch they would clearly agree, but too bad the kinds of heated arguments between two people usually occur without an audience.

So that's about all I have for this one. The bottom line is I don't express emotions when I feel it is fine to do without them. I  make a great third party moderator and look at issues in an unbiased manner, allegiances be damned. If you want to hear the truth then ask me, I'll give it to you with a strait face, just don't ask and expect me to sugarcoat things or to go along with your view point; we Aspy's have never been good at lying.    

Comparing Asperger's (at least my own version) to Platinum

I have long since figured out that I can compare two seemingly incomparable things to make people understand. All you have to know how to do is find something that works, and then run with it. I did another example of something else that I am saving for the book, but this one will be how working with the precious metal platinum is like dealing with an Aspy. Just like in the other example I will first do the run through with one thing and then the other. You may get confused, but don't skip to the end, just read and wait for it, trust me, in the end, it will all make sense ( I hope).

Many bench jewelers/goldsmiths are used to the everyday tasks that are expected in their job. Gold, no matter what alloy or color, is pretty similar in terms of what you can and can't do with it, and what to expect out of the metal when you are working with it. True, white gold has some special rules that need to be followed, such as not quenching it in water when it is still hot and the colored gold alloys have some other certain characteristics but, overall, gold is gold. It can be sold easily enough to buyers all around the world and has been used as a currency for millenia. Although it can take many forms, people usually know gold when they see it, but not all that glitters is gold, clearly. There is a more recently discovered metal used in jewelry, although it was used long ago and then almost forgotten and then remembered again. Platinum is a metal that does not wear away with constant use and hardly tarnishes. It stays very constant and can be made into very thin pieces that, if made from gold, would break easily. Platinum does have plenty of cautions and drawbacks, however, that must be considered before working with it.

In terms of alloy type, there are a few main ones that are used in jewelry. There is 95/5 platinum-ruthenium which is good for casting and is OK for hand fabrication, 95/5 platinum-cobalt is ideal for casting because it flows really well when cast and can be easily polished, but it does oxidize when being welded. A long time favorite is 90/10 Platinum-Iridium which works well in nearly every jewelry application, whether it be casting or hand fabrication. This alloy suits most jewelers well. Different alloys are used specifically for certain procedures and that is why they were invented in the first place. After an alloy is chosen then begins task of making something out of it. I prefer 90/10 Platinum-Iridium and this alloy is what most of the older platinum rings from the late 19th and early 20th century were made of. One thing to watch out for when working with any platinum alloy is contamination, i.e. the exposure to certain things that can effect its work-ability  The same tools and techniques that work wonders on gold do not work at all when making jewelry out of platinum. An oxygen-propane torch is preferred over oxy-acetylene because the latter expels carbon that the platinum can absorb, making it brittle. A special ceramic surface should be used instead of a charcoal block, again because of carbon. No flux should be used, as the high temperatures used in soldering and welding render to flux noneffective and can even contaminate the alloy. Only tungsten, with its high melting point, should be used when handling hot platinum. Steel will only leave a mark of oxidation that could be difficult to remove. Platinum is a fickle metal, unforgiving and a lot of things can go wrong without the use of proper techniques. Even the rolling mill must be cleaned and freshly oiled to avoid pressing other metals into it. All tools must be lubricated when cutting and filing because the incredible density makes platinum hard to cut through. 

Heat is the most important thing when working with platinum. It has to get very, very hot and the heat has to be direct. While most flames used in jewelry are neutral to only slightly oxidized, a platinum flame has to be nearly all oxygen, with a trademark 'hiss'. Trust me, you will know you are using the proper flame by the sound of it. The first time inexperienced jewelers work with platinum they have no idea how hot and direct the flame has to be and what they end up using has very little effect on the metal. Quickly enough, though, they do learn that you have to adapt to the metal you are working with. There is no fluttering around the piece when you heat it, just move the flame in and be direct and you should have no problem. It should be noted that proper eye wear must be used in order to filter the highly dangerous UV rays that glowing platinum emits and only a #5 shade or above will work. There is little danger of melting platinum when you use the proper flame size, but if you use the wrong one then the metal will collapse just like any other. This is hard to do, but if you feel the metal is about to melt then back the flame off a little and let the metal cool before reapply heat. It may seem a little odd, but freshly heated platinum will still glow for a while before cooling. It is not uncommon when melting it to put the piece underwater and still have it glow red for a time before it fully cools. Soldering and fusing platinum is also something of a different nature.

Platinum fusion involves melting the metal to itself, no solder needed. I have actually done this with a bracelet I am making at the moment, see picture. It can be scary at first to do (I only do the in-hand holding to prove a point) but it is always a thrill. Soldering the metal is also interesting, again due to heat, but it is still just soldering in the end. The one very hard aspect of platinum is polishing it.

You have to start polishing with the lowest grit possible, and this can really take a while. While with gold and silver you can simply do Tripoli to remove the surface scratches and then Rouge to polish, platinum involves using 200, 400 grit, then 800, 1500, 4000, 8,000 and even 12,000 with the lower numbers coming from hand files and polishing papers. Platinum does NOT wear away with constant use and ordinary polishing agents will not affect it, trust me I have tried. If you skip a step, you will wish you didn't. You can't polish a scratch out of platinum, it only becomes shinier. Every step of the way you must make sure you have a uniform finish before moving onto the next grit, and then you need to clean the piece and use a different buff to apply the next step because it won't work properly if you don't. In the end, though, it is worth it, and the piece shines with a luster, almost looking 'neon' in some cases. You may be asking yourself, are all of these special techniques & processes worth it and how do they relate to me as a person on the autism spectrum?

People on the autism spectrum are similar to others, but with some major differences that make us seem like our own category of human being, and even then there are many different alloys (although platinum is a metal, it is not like working with silver and gold, at all and certain knowledge is needed in order to avoid disaster).  As far as my character goes, I am hard to change. There needs to be extreme forces at work in order for me to make changes happen (the high heat of the torch). If you put too much heat on me for too long then a melt-down is inevitable and it can take me longer than you think to get my head right (I need a mental rest after extended social interaction to cool down, and if you try to converse with me before that time you are wasting your breathe, and may get burned or at least feel like you did). I will resist some change, I have learned to go with the flow, and if I don't like what is happening I will not comply at all and even take myself out of the situation (any 'other' metal, or even the wrong fuel system, that gets into a platinum alloy and then heat is applied, will contaminate it and you will need to remove the affected pieces before proceeding). In terms of social interaction, it was hard for me to act appropriate sometimes (take a 'polish' or a 'shine' to people) and learn how people are supposed to interact with one another. This was mainly in my younger years. I have, with time and many embarrassing experiences, learned how to act around others. All of these mistakes I made (by learning not to skip steps and focus on the little things) have helped me to start to shine. So is it all worth it in the end?

If you want to know someone of the spectrum then you have no choice. If your son or daughter, friend or relative, someone you want to know but they seem to have a barrier up that you want to break down the wall of communication and understanding, then yes, it is all worth it.

We can be hard to deal with, you may think you did everything right, but missed one important detail, and that is why it hasn't worked out in the past. This last statement can either be true of me looking at you, or you looking at me. I try harder than ever to get on the same page as other people but still lack polish in that area. I know it will come, and I have shown measured improvement, but it takes a while.