The Observationist

There are things that you may notice that other people do not. It may be something wrong or right with the world that you just sort of see. I'm not really talking about the arrow in the FedEx logo here. I'm talking about solutions to everyday problems or ideas that could be useful in everyday life. Sort of like an inventors mindset if you will. The ability to problem solve not by using sheer brain power, but the ability to stick with things long after others have given up. You feel inside yourself that you see the world differently.

I would always stare up at my ceiling at the spatula work they had done to coat it. I would always see little shapes or figures, mainly faces that I would be tempted to color or outline. This wouldn't have done well with the parents. I'd show them to people but they just wouldn't see what I was going for. I guess not everyone sees that same shape in the cloud their friend is also observing.

You can't explain it to anybody else for fear they might send you away. Even so, it’s not that kind of odd. Even as a child I constantly told my father that I was different but could not figure out why. Maybe it was because I was adopted I thought. Maybe it was due to some of my unique experiences, as everyone else surely has. I'd come to learn when I was 16 and took a test for autism that it was most likely the case, although I wouldn't realize that until a few years later.

You may find that your Aspy kids have a similar ability. That is a good thing. They will see things you may miss. Every once in a while the seemingly trivial things they point out may be more than just that. Pay attention to them and don't write them off as just childish thoughts. You just might thank yourself for doing so later on.

I find it funny and a little ironic that I can see things others cannot but miss the basic social cues that other take for granted. To have something you have to give up something else. That's just the way it works. At least that's what I think. Who knows, maybe I'm missing something here.

A Brain in Constant Motion:It Never Ends

My mind itself is always in a constant state of motion. Even when I try to blank out random things cloud my brain. Having a hyperactive mind is nothing new; it’s just that people don't like to think they have a problem with it. I know I do. And trust me when I say if you have it, you know it. There is no gray area here. It can be hard to cope with sometimes but after twenty five years you accept it as a normalcy of life.

With my mind moving at such a torrent pace it is easy to multi-task. I can have a conversation with you while watching TV. Many of the day to day conversations I have with people I know involves me hardly looking at them at all. They know me and know I am paying attention. As for everyone else, I give them more of a glance before I look away. It can be sort of likened to a basketball player staying in the paint for no more than three seconds. If I stare too long then I become a little timid around people I don't really know/feel comfortable with. Something in my mind tells me I have to get out of there, regroup and then come back again. I do this seamlessly now, without them even noticing, because it happens faster than they can process.

As for stopping the flow of never ending thoughts, I have found a way to do so. If you are open and really would like to know, I'll be glad to tell you in private. Is the method perfect? Not by a long shot; but it is the only thing I have found that works, so far. I may need to think a little longer for a better solution.